Where is the Laugh Track?

Best $15 I Ever Spent

2012-02-15T11:27:00.000-06:00

Someone FINALLY went #2 in the potty! So off we went to let her pick out a present:

Of course - OF COURSE - she picked the pink fancy nightgown with princesses on it. I keep underestimating Kate's capacity for cliche girly-ness.

Not until I had Kate did I come to truly understand that there are (at least) 3 different genders: tomboy, ALL-boy, and girly-girl.

In other news, we're an all underwear house now!!! Kate's pleased because all that junk in her trunk fits into her pants MUCH better now without the extra padding.

Pretty Much Sums Things Up

2012-02-13T17:08:00.000-06:00

M finds me the BEST cards.

Who Wouldn't Smile for This Photographer?

2012-02-01T09:29:00.000-06:00

Or maybe snicker is more likely???

This kid cracks me up. He rode his bike to school today and every time he was riding without having to stop, he was cheering. Think like, "WOO!" but continuous, with slight modulation, and very high pitched. The ENTIRE. WAY. TO. SCHOOL.

"Wooo-oooooo-ooo-ooooooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooo-oooo-oooooooooo-ooooooooooo-ooooo-oooooooooo-oo-ooo..."

He sounded like a lunatic. As he would come up behind people walking, they would look back to figure out what was coming at them and to determine whether or not they should flee for their lives. Then they would realize it was just Scott and not some sort of siren. Next they would look questioningly at me who was following about 20 yards behind him. And I was too busy cracking up to offer any kind of explanation.

We're Still Into Us

2012-01-27T23:02:00.000-06:00

Tonight M and I were talking about the early days of our relationship:

M - I'm so glad I found you.
G - I'm so glad I found YOU. Well, no, who am I kidding. You found me. You were the one who asked me out. I was oblivious.
M - No, you totally liked me first. Way back in the beginning when I was oblivious. Years before I asked you out.
G - True.
M - You were into us before we were cool.
G - I'm like the hipster of our love.

New Vocabulary

2012-01-26T11:20:00.000-06:00

M and I have started using a new word around our house and I thought you all might want to stay on top of the cutting edge slang being developed around here:

Shobos - noun \ˈshō-(ˌ)bōs\

plural shoboses

Definition of SHOBOS

: a situation where your brain repeatedly proposes a specific solution despite the fact that you have already concluded it is not viable approximately 1000 times
e.g. You are playing Scrabble with your spouse and someone has played the word "hobos." It falls with a triple word square just to the left of the "h." Your brain will now spend the rest of the game trying to find a way to get that triple word score. It will do this by repeatedly proposing that you put down an "s" and make "shobos."

: an irresistible persistent impulse to repeatedly cram that same, still wrong jigsaw puzzle piece in that one spot

Photography Challenge Day #12 - Sunset

2012-01-23T09:14:00.001-06:00

Every day I would either miss sunset because I was busy making dinner, or I would go outside and see nothing to inspire me. Perfectly cloudless skies and my neighbors' roof lines for a horizon. Not much to look at. But it was good because it forced me to eventually give in and put a little more effort into it:

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I want to force myself to practice taking photos a little more, so I'll be posting for this 30 Day Photography Challenge even though the "official" challenge is over. Posts may or may not be daily.

My rules for my self are:
1 - Take everything in manual mode
2 - No post-processing, only SOOC

At Least the Commute is Short

2012-01-22T17:49:00.001-06:00

A good friend asked me recently if I planned to get a job once Kate goes to school. And no, no I don't. At least not for a good long while. Here's how I see it:

By the time Kate goes to Kindergarten I will have been working at this stay-at-home mothering gig for almost ten and a half years. And in that time I have taken virtually NO vacation or sick time. So I have A LOT of time off coming to me.

Here, let's do the math together. I started being a stay-at-home mom the day Claire was born. When Kate starts school at the end of August 2014, I will have been at this "job" for 10.46 years. But we'll just round it off to 10 years. For the sake of simplicity, let us assume that I accrue vacation and sick days at the same rate as someone working a 40 hour week. This is a ridiculous underestimation because as every mother knows, you work 7 days a week and sometimes even through the night. Therefore I am more than comfortable saying that the times I do get away for an evening or Saturday to do my own thing don't really count as vacation time. I will assume that since my normal mothering work day is 14 hours long, a day off would include 14 hours. This means that when the kids are at school for 7 hours, I am only getting half a day off. Also, since normal workers get the weekend off, when I am on a trip away from the kids, I don't need to use vacation days for the weekend.

I will deduct the time M and I went away for 3.5 days for our 5 year anniversary and the time we went to New York for 1.5 days to see Les Mis as vacation time. I will also count the one week I spent in Japan with my sister. So that's 10 days of vacation time that I have taken in the last 7.5 years. I project that I will take another 5 days of vacation when M and I go on a cruise for our 10 year anniversary next year.

As for sick leave, I refuse to count any recovery time from childbirth because that is part of the job. But other than that, I have not taken any sick time. Ever. Vomiting with a horrific stomach flu all day? Still nursed a baby between trips to the toilet and still made meals to feed kids. Deathly ill with swine flu? Still got Claire to school and picked her up, plus all the feeding and diapering. Mastitis? Kept on trucking.

Once the kids are all in school, I will get a half day off each weekday. But they are only in school 36 weeks of the year. Assuming that I earn vacation and sick leave at the same rate M does at his current job, I have put together a little graph to show my accrued time off with each passing year since Claire's birth when I "began employment." The red vertical line represents when Kate starts Kindergarten if we are rounding things off to 10 years.

At the peak just before Kate goes to school, I will have accrued 240 days of personal time off. If I just started taking that at full steam, it's nearly an entire year of full days off, Mon-Fri. But I won't get to take it all right away. I'll still work the half day that the kids are home after school and full time during the summer. That will really stretch out that time off. Plus I will continue to accrue some more time off. Assuming that by not getting another job I will take a half day off every school day, then as you can see by where the graph of my remaining personal days finally dips back down to zero, I deserve AT LEAST four and a half years off after Kate starts Kindergarten before I even have to THINK about getting another job.

FOUR AND A HALF YEARS!!! And that's really probably an underestimation given that we estimated a 40 hour work week. (40 hours?!?!? HA! I WISH!!!!) Plus, I'm not actually going to eat bon-bons all day. I'm sure I'll spend a fair amount of time that the kids are at school doing things for them, cleaning the house, volunteering at their schools, etc. And to think, I only have to wait 10 years before all my kids go to school. Plenty of people have much longer due to more kids and/or more space between their kids' ages. Think of the time they will have accrued!

I don't know why it seems like some stay-at-home moms think they have to run out find a "real job" as soon as their kids go to school. Most of those women will vehemently tell you that being a stay-at-home mom IS a real and important job. Well, I agree. It is an important and real job. The benefits package really sucks though (at least on paper). You may not get medical/dental/vision. You may not get stock options. You may not get employer matching to your 401k. In fact, you don't even get paid. But you at least deserve some time off. Staying home with your kids IS a real job. Enjoy your time off when your kids go to school. You've earned it.

Happy MLK Day!

2012-01-16T22:24:00.002-06:00

In Claire's family prayer last night, one of the things she said was, "Thank you for Martin Luther King Jr. and that he helped with the whites only."

It took me a minute to process what she was trying to say. I'm pretty sure Martin Luther King didn't just help white people only. And then it finally clicked that she was talking about laws and getting rid of the "whites only" ones. Apparently we and/or her school have succeeded in helping her understand that there was a time when "whites only" signs existed and that people like Martin Luther King Jr. helped get rid of those, but maybe now we need to work on the correct terminology!

Feel Loved, Grandma. Feel Very Loved.

2012-01-11T10:11:00.005-06:00

LITERALLY jumping for joy because Grandma had just pulled up!

Photography Challenge Day #11 - Something Blue

2012-01-10T16:03:00.000-06:00

Okay, I haven't forgotten about this photography thing. It was just that the holidays happened. And I was horribly uninspired by this prompt. I guess blue just isn't my thing, but here's what I came up with:

Maybe I should have dusted this pitcher better - makes it look kind out of focus. Oh well.

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Mom Said I Had to Wear Shoes To Go Outside...

2012-01-09T21:16:00.000-06:00

"No Mommy, I do it!!!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2011-12-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

My Favorite Little Bum

2011-12-16T12:12:00.002-06:00

We went to the park with friends the other day. It was chilly enough to need a coat but not a hat. However, Kate insisted. And she insisted on wearing her little backpack the entire time. Add the jeans and tennis shoes and I'd say she was totally rocking the homeless person look, don't you think?

Hooray for Ballad Meter!

2011-12-15T09:41:00.001-06:00

I never got around to blogging this before, but last year I was asked to teach a class on Christ-centered Christmas traditions at a church activity. Last year was a rough year for me, and since I suspected I wasn't the only one feeling like I could barely keep my head above water sometimes, I really wanted to come up with something for my class that was actually helpful instead of just guilt-inducing.

Most things seems to suggest that having a Christ-centered Christmas is "simple." All I have to do is remember each and every day of December to remember to pull out some 3-ring binder full cheesy stories and read one while my angelic children sit still and listen without poking each other or needing to still finish their homework. Or to gather my whole family around to write and stage our own nativity musical for all of the neighbors, with proceeds to be used in our own elaborate 12 Days of Christmas charitable act. Or to make lists of all the fabulous good things we intend to do as gifts to Jesus and hand embroider them onto a blanket that we keep track of for an entire year so we can reflect on our failure next December. All of these could be great ideas if they work for you, but when you're already feeling overwhelmed, they could also be enough to make you collapse into a sobbing heap.

I decided instead to focus on actually SIMPLE things we could do because if anyone suggested one more complicated thing to add to the Christmas season, I was gonna scream.

I started out the class by horrifying all in attendance with my singing voice as I performed this little number:

The Ballad of Carol's Christmas

(to the tune of Gilligan's Island)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a stressful time
That started on Thanksgiving day,

So listen to my rhyme.

Carol is a mighty busy gal

Who fills her days and nights

And yells at her busy husband to

Put up the Christmas lights.

The Christmas bonus will be used

To buy a 12 foot tree

And a blow up Santa Claus

Riding a Harley, riding a Harley.

Her cards say “Happy Holidays”

But she forgot the stamps.

The ones that show all 8 reindeer

Dressed up like little tramps.

She wants to give gifts to her friends,

Co-workers, neighbors too,

But without time for homemade fudge,

Some candy canes will do.

Now what to get her husband Bob

So he will think she rocks?

No time - just get a gift card or

Another pair of socks.

She has to buy the latest toy

And that would seem just fine

If she didn't have to stand and wait

In a three hour line, a three hour line.

Carol sets the wrapping paper down

In the only open space

With a Barbie doll

And Skipper too,

Potato Head and his wife,

A movie player,

A processor and memory

Here on the kitchen island.

And while she wraps and wraps and wraps

She listens with her ear

To songs about how Grandma got

Run over by reindeer.

Across the post office counter

The presents all get tossed.

If not for the tracking number she got,

The package would be lost, the package would be lost.

Yes, Christmas time was here again

For Carol's family.

They're just too busy to make time

For the nativity.

We all feel pity for Carol.

She has too much to do.

A little too familiar –

Does Carol sound like you? Does Carol sound like you?

O Christmas time, it seems we have

Done all our time permits.

In all the many things we do

This is where Jesus fits?

Amazed at what has happened

Here in this world of sin,

With tears we stop and wonder how

The dear Christ enters in? The dear Christ enters in?

Then, threatening to kick out anyone who suggested something that wasn't simple, we had an open discussion about ways to replace or simplify our existing traditions to be more Christ-centered. Some of my favorite suggestions (that I remember) included:

Buying/making Christmas cards that say "Merry Christmas" and not just "Happy Holidays," etc.
Buying the Madonna and Child Christmas postage stamps instead of the less religious snowman, pinecone, etc. ones
Instead of going out as a family to look at Christmas lights, go out to visit a nativity (many churches/communities have really cool live ones)
Instead of a big elaborate Christmas Eve or Christmas dinner, have a Bethlehem meal on the floor of figs, dates, olives, goat cheese, nuts, grapes, grape juice, dried meat, honey, fish, etc. Things that Mary and Joseph might have eaten at the time.
Read inspiring Christmas stories for bed time with your children instead of their usual bedtime stories
Sing Christmas hymns for bed time songs to your children
Listen to Christmas hymns as you go about your activities
Giving Christ-centered items out as gifts to friends/neighbors/co-workers, or at least attaching a Christ-centered tag/message ("Joy to the World" pass along cards or even the "Joy to the World" video itself were mentioned)

Now remember, if you don't already do an equivalent of one of these activities, you shouldn't feel obligated to start doing it. You can if you want. But if you're already doing something similar to one of these, why not tweak it a little to be more Christ-centered? But whatever you do, DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT. Otherwise I will have failed completely.

I ended the class by having a friend (who could actually make it sound pretty) sing:

(to the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem)

O Christmas time, it seems we have

Done all our time permits.

In all the many things we do

This is where Jesus fits.

Amazed at what has happened

Here in this world of sin,

With tears we stop and wonder how

The dear Christ enters in.

Sometimes you don't need to add more verses to your song, you just need to change your tune.

I don't know how well this idea conveys without actually hearing it. I'm not a music person, so I'm not even sure how well it worked out in person. But I'm trying to change my "Christmas tune" to be a little more O Little Town of Bethlehem and a little less Gilligan's Island.

Anyone have any suggestions for simple changes that can be made for a more Christ-centered Christmas? How have you "changed your tune"?

[WARNING: Same rules apply as the class I taught - KEEP IT SIMPLE. But since I can't kick you off the internet, instead just know that if you break my rules M and I will mock you mercilessly amongst ourselves. Be intimidated. Be very intimidated.]

Photography Challenge Day #10 - Childhood Memory

2011-12-09T17:30:00.000-06:00

Isn't playing in the dirt a quintessential childhood memory? My kids don't seem to like playing outside all that much at our house, but at my parents' house they LOVE to get "down and dirty." Kate was collecting these "rocks" (AKA clumps of dirt) and handing them to me. Carrying around her large collection of "rocks" was only mildly annoying until she handed me a dried up cow patty "rock." Now Kate knows the phrase, "cow poop."

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Photography Challenge Day #9 - Someone You Love

2011-11-21T13:10:00.000-06:00

I love the little person that belongs to the hands in this picture. But that little person REALLY loves this doll we made together. And because we had fun doing it together, I love this little doll too. Claire's homework was to make a clothespin doll representing her cultural heritage as a way to honor all "pilgrims." We chose to represent Norway, where my maternal grandmother's family was from. Claire named her little doll Anna.

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Photography Challenge Day #8 - A Bad Habit

2011-11-18T13:02:00.000-06:00

There's two layers to the meaning on this one. First of all, spending too much time on the computer is a bad habit of mine. (And it's ironic that I'm admitting that WHILE spending time on the computer. Huh.)

Second of all, as you can see from this photo I took of one of my old keyboards, I have a nasty habit of ruining keyboards. I tend to wear off the letters. Weird, I know. Looking back at this old keyboard, I can barely believe it. Look at how there are actual grooves and indentations on some of those keys. I swear I didn't take sandpaper to them!

But I have good news for those who have been following my plight with bated breath. We found a keyboard we've been using for awhile now that I LOVE and I've had no problems so far. This illuminated keyboard seems to do the trick because the letters are actually translucent to allow the light through, instead of just being printed on. Plus it's really nice to use and very cool looking to boot. YAY!

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Photography Challenge Day #7 - Fruit

2011-11-15T15:57:00.003-06:00

It may be so hot in the Texas summer that you can't keep a garden alive past June, but at least in the

winter the grocery store is full of these babies:

(Also? I really want a macro lens.)

Texas grapefruit have become part of our Christmas morning breakfast tradition. YUM!

Before I went to the store and saw that grapefruit had come in season, I was thinking that a photo of my new jacket might work for this prompt too:

It is kinda fruity, isn't it? But I love it! It's a hand me down from my aunt. I'd been craving a coat that was kinda... irresponsible. I love my gray wool pea coat, but sometimes it's fun to spice things up. On the other hand, I am loathe to spend a lot of money on a coat that will only get worn a couple weeks every year here in Texas unless it's pretty classic. So when I saw this in the box of stuff she sent, it made my day. And since my sister and I were splitting the items in the box, I was extra thrilled when my sister said she didn't want it because it didn't work for her. What do you think? Was my sister wiser than me, or did I luck out?

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Photography Challenge Day #6 - From a Low Angle

2011-11-09T09:35:00.000-06:00

I learned something about shooting in manual mode. When it's a very dark cloudy day and you're chasing your toddler around your kitchen trying to get photos of her shoes, the lighting changes A LOT. It's really hard to keep your photos properly exposed and your white balanced. Especially when adjusting your settings will take 0.5 seconds and she will only stay in one place for about 0.3 seconds. Maybe toddlers do occasionally call for not shooting in manual mode? SIGH...

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Progress!

2011-11-04T10:13:00.005-05:00

I've lost a total of 10 pounds now in approximately the last 2 months. YAY! I am now back to what I weighed before I got pregnant with Claire. Unfortunately, that's not as awesome as it may sound. I'm weird. I weighed less each time I got pregnant. 5 pounds less than this when I got pregnant with Scott and almost 10 pounds less than this when I got pregnant with Kate.

But here is another sewing project that's been helping distract me:

This sweater used to be a V-neck pullover, but I almost never wore it because a) I live in Texas and I hardly ever need a sweater, b) it fit a bit short for my taste, and c) the few times I do want a sweater, I rarely want one I have to pull on and off over my head.

So, inspired by some pins I saw on Pinterest, I turned it into a cardigan, and now I LOVE it! I have the exact same sweater in a dark charcoal gray, so stay tuned because it's definitely getting chopped too!

Photography Challenge Day #5 - From a High Angle

2011-11-03T10:09:00.000-05:00

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Halloween Costumes 2011

2011-11-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

Claire wanted to be a butterfly this year, so I went the lazy route and bought her wings. But we still bought glitter and customized them because Claire was not satisfied with plain pink:

Scott is obsessed with all things Wild Kratts right now, so OF COURSE he was going to pick an animal that had been featured on the show. He picked a black rhino and I tried to oblige. It was far too warm to make some full-body outfit, so I figured a head covering and a tail with black pants and t-shirt would suffice. This one required the most thinking for me on how to make it, but I think it turned out pretty recognizable as a rhino (asking anyone to know he was a black rhino might be a bit much to ask):

Kate wanted to be Hello Kitty, of course:

And even Hello Kitty has a little tail:

And I indulged her and bought this exorbitantly expensive trick-or-treat bucket ($8!!!! Really???) just to tip people off that she was more than just a "cat":

Even with yellow paint on her nose and whiskers, I don't think it was that obvious that she was something beyond a cat, but who cares. She loved it and, really, a toddler costume of any kind with ears, a tail, and a dress is pretty cute:

M and I dressed up too, but I forgot to take bloggable photos:

Your search is over!!!

Just call me Rosie...

Pumpkins 2011

2011-10-31T23:22:00.001-05:00

M and I really love carving pumpkins but we had to force ourselves to keep it simple this year because we just have too much on our plate.

Kate chose Hello Kitty, of course:

(There were definitely some moments when I had to laugh that THIS was "simple.")

Scott wanted something from Wild Kratts (big surprise...) so we talked him into the simple paw print symbol from their creature power discs:

(This was quick and easy. Gotta love hole saw attachments for the drill!)

Claire chose a soccer ball:

(Again with this one, we need to rethink our definition of "easy.")

Photography Challenge Day #4 - Something Green

2011-10-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

Green is my favorite color! It was so hard to settle on something because I liked so many ideas! In the end though, I'm going to highlight the pumpkin I carved for Kate:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

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Photography Challenge Day #3 - Clouds

2011-10-28T12:40:00.000-05:00

Is it me, or were the clouds were being copy-cats?

This one was good because it forced me to notice these clouds. And seeing these clouds reminded me that there are at least some perks to getting up, taking my kids to school, and getting back home all before the sun has risen.

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Photography Challenge Day #2 - What I Wore Today

2011-10-26T15:11:00.000-05:00

This one was hard for me. I tried a few things and don't love any. Since I'm struggling to pick one, I'm just gonna post two:

Halloween toes and PANTS! (This was a few days ago. Even though Halloween is in a few days, today was still WAY too hot for pants. I miss pants.)

I love the back on this shirt.

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I want to force myself to practice taking photos a little more, so I'll be posting for this 30 Day Photography Challege even though the "official" challenge is over. Posts may or may not be daily.

My rules for my self are:
1 - Take everything in manual mode
2 - No post-processing, only SOOC

Photography Challenge Day #1 - Self-Portrait

2011-10-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

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I want to force myself to practice taking photos a little more, so I'll be posting for this Photography Challenge here on my blog to help myself be a little accountable!

I saw a 30 Day Photography Challege on Pinterest and even though the "official" challenge is over, I thought I would use the list as an excuse to practice a little. Especially on something besides just my kids. I don't promise the photos will be daily and I don't promise the photos will be great, but I do intend to plug along through the list in order and try to learn something along the way!

My rules for my self are:
1 - Take everything in manual mode (I normally rely too heavily on Aperture Priority mode so I want to force myself to practice setting ISO, aperture, and shutter speed)
2 - No post-processing, only SOOC (I have a tendency to tell myself I can just fix things later in Photoshop - especially color)

Turns Out, You NEED Those Numbers at the End

2011-10-17T18:54:00.001-05:00

My kids all have their own Gmail accounts. Actually, two accounts apiece. One user name is respectable and the other is more playful. I sign them up for them shortly after they are born because I'm crazy like that. As Claire has gotten old enough, she has occasionally used hers to email grandparents and such. I'm pretty sure my kids are going to thank me someday for getting them addresses ASAP so they aren't stuck with some user name that is followed by twelve impossible to remember numbers to make it unique.

But speaking of numbers at the end of an email address making it hard to remember, lately I'm having a problem. The kids' accounts all forward to my email and I'm getting email for some other Claire with the same last name. She is apparently some sucker whose mother DIDN'T sign her up for an address soon enough, so hers must have some numbers after it. But apparently she doesn't remember this. She thinks she owns the address with no numbers after it. How do you not know your own email address? I can understand one or two mistakes, but how exactly do you not notice that you haven't received things you're expecting? Important things!

She appears to now be a senior in high school considering various colleges. She lives in Georgia and attends Baylife Church. She is not getting her church newsletter. Nor is she getting messages from her chemistry study group. She is not getting her J.Crew ads. Or several other store ads. But worst of all, she is not getting info about deadlines for online registration to Duke University, Vanderbilt, and Georgia Tech.

I am also now in possession of her login names for these online registrations and, since OBVIOUSLY I know her first and last name, I'm pretty sure I could reset the password on most of her accounts. But I'm not going to. She's lucky I'm a nice person. I really do hope she's not missing all these deadlines that I keep getting emailed about.

Also, I hope none of these universities find out about all of this. Do you really think someone will believe you are Duke material if you can't figure out your own email address???

-2 lbs

2011-10-12T16:02:00.000-05:00

Still sewing...

Diet Aid

2011-09-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to lose weight and therefore, I've been sewing a lot.

How does that work, you ask? Well, I like to sew a lot. When I'm going about business as usual, I am often tempted to stop for a little snack. But when I'm sewing I get so caught up in it, I forget. I lose all desire to eat. (I also lose all desire to sleep, bathe, and leave the house, but that's a whole 'nother discussion.)

Along with some other tactics, it seems to be working. I'm down at least 6 lbs in the last month.

And I've gotten some good sewing done. I just finished this dress and wore it to church Sunday:

Now the trick is to finish my sewing projects fast enough that they're not too big by the time I finish them. And if that's my biggest problem, I'll take it!

C'mon Scott, Your Baby Sister Can Do It!

2011-09-21T10:48:00.000-05:00

Scott and Kate are quite the contrasting pair. Scott being very reluctant to do new things by himself, and Kate being QUITE the opposite. Kate seems to be quickly overtaking Scott in many areas. Yesterday was an interesting day of firsts in our house.

First of all Kate, my little pantry bandit, came wandering up to me drinking a contraband juice box. Apparently she can unwrap the straw and poke it into the hole now herself. Scott couldn't do that until, like, last month. (Anyone have any tips on how to keep a toddler out of a pantry with double doors but the kind that latch up at the top? All the lock type things I find for child-proofing won't fit around full size door knobs, but the regular knob ones are worthless since these knobs are just for pulling, not turning. The rope set up we've tried fails on so many levels. It's hideous AND cumbersome. So cumbersome that I never remembered to re-weave the intricate knot around the knobs and therefore just stopped using it.)

Second of all, Scott learned to pedal a tricycle. Yes, he is in Kindergarten. He's been a bit of a late bloomer in this department. Up until yesterday, he just didn't care to do it enough to bother. Every time I would coax him onto a tricycle, he would try for a second and then give up because it wasn't instantly easy. But Claire and the neighbors were having bicycle races up and down the street and he figured out he would never keep up on his scooter. Yay for peer pressure!!! So he was determined to head down the path towards mastering the bicycle. He did great on the tricycle, so we tried putting him on his bicycle with training wheels, but that resulted in a freak out of epic proportions because it was "TOO HARD!!!" Oh well, at least my 5 year old can finally pedal a tricycle a mere month or so after my 2 year old figured it out!

I Want the Drought to End Too, BUT...

2011-09-19T21:38:00.002-05:00

Dear People Who Are Members of My Church (Maybe not ALL, but certainly MOST of them),

I have a small issue I would like to address. It has bothered me for many years, but ever since Mother Nature decided to stop making rain clouds in Texas and it became the land of searing heat this year, it's started coming up a lot more.

It's about your prayers. Don't get me wrong, I want the drought to end. I'm glad you're praying for it to end and I am too. It's the wording I have issue with. Do you really have to ask for "moisture"? And when we DO get a little sprinkle, do you have to say thank you for "moisture" too?

I believe the word "rain" is the appropriate choice here. We want RAIN. Or we're thankful we got RAIN. Why not just say that? For some reason though, you seem to think that when you're praying you ought to say "moisture." I have some guesses about why you might feel compelled to say this:

1) "Moisture" sounds more formal -- No, it doesn't. Moisture sounds disgusting. It brings to mind sweat, used sponges, or worse, some sort of feminine issue. More formal would be something like "waters sent forth from heaven above." Maybe a bit overkill, but better than saying "moisture."

2) "Moisture" is more generic and all encompassing and we'll take anything we can get -- While I appreciate the sentiment, there are two problems with this. First of all, this is Texas. If you're hoping that we'll get snow instead of rain, you're kidding yourself. Maybe you grew up in Utah where it actually snows and picked up the habit there? Well, that brings me to my second point. You might have learned this in like, elementary school. We have a word for generic wet stuff falling from the sky: precipitation. I know it's kinda long, but say it with me now: Pre-cip-i-ta-tion. And if you forget the correct generic word, do you honestly think it will hurt to just say "rain"? I mean, I'm pretty sure if you say "rain" the Lord isn't going to think, "Oh, I was going to send some snow, sleet, and hail, but since they only asked for rain, I guess they're out of luck."

3) "Moisture" includes humidity and dew -- This is probably the least objectionable reason for saying "moisture." HOWEVER, I hate to break it to you but I don't really think raising the humidity around here is going to stop the drought. It WILL make us all even more miserably uncomfortably hot and sweaty (moist?), and it may be a little better for the plants, but it's just not going to cut it.

4) You say "moisture" just to annoy uptight people like me -- By all means, carry on then. You're doing a great job.

All that being said, keep on praying for rain, or precipitation, or dews from heaven distilling, or... *gulp*... moisture, or whatever. Just keep praying for something to end this drought.

Sincerely,
G

A Casual User

2011-09-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

Kate is a casual potty user.

We tried potty training Kate earlier this week. Originally I wasn't planning on it until she was much older, but it seemed like Kate had other plans. So we gave it a go.

I don't know what we were thinking. She didn't seem to mind when her underwear got wet. (I think underwear is like an accessory to her, "YES! We get to go try on another pair of underwear!") She refused to go on the potty if I suggested it. It was pretty miserable.

After two days of (confession!) me being in tears by late afternoon, we gave up. Of course I'm wondering what I did wrong, but I think I have settled on not shouldering the blame too much myself. Maybe she just isn't ready. Maybe I'm just not ready for what it would take. She's younger than Claire and Scott were when we potty trained them even though she's showing more signs of readiness than they did. She talks, but nothing like Claire could at this age so I think there are some communication issues going on too. I think we just need a little more time.

I've never been so happy to put a diaper on a child! For now Kate seems to be content continuing to just use the potty when it's her idea and she's in the mood. So most mornings when she wakes up and almost every night before bed, she gets the brilliant idea to use the potty. Before I know it, she has stripped her diaper off herself and done her business. Then she gets a few M&M's as reward and then we put her diaper back on. And as long as I never suggest she use the potty, everything's good. For now, this halfway state seems to be working.

When You're So Excited You Put Underwear on Over Your Clothes

2011-08-10T13:37:00.000-05:00

We went back to school shopping the other day and while we were there I decided it was time to let Kate pick out some big girl underwear. We went to the underwear aisle and I laid out all of her choices and told her to pick one. She pointed at one. Then another. Then another. So I tried to explain to her to pick just one and put it in the cart. She picked one up, put it in the cart, then came back for another package and tried to put it in the cart too.

Obviously this was not working. So I went ahead and narrowed it down to just three choices for her. And told her to put just ONE in the cart. So she proceeded to stack all three packages on top of each other and try to carry them all to the cart in one trip. Ha! Nice try Kate.

I know she's barely two, but I KNOW she understood me. She was just trying to be tricky. But finally I convinced her that she had to put all but one back and that did it. She loves cleaning things up so we put all the others back on the rack and ended up with Hello Kitty panties. Of course.

We proceeded to the checkout and as I thought we were about done checking out I looked over and realized that somehow Kate had gotten the package of underwear out of the cart and had opened it. She had pulled three of the six pairs out of the package and was carefully unrolling them. I quickly grabbed the package while she screamed in protest, had the checkout clerk scan it, then quickly gave it back to Kate.

By the time we got the car loaded and I was ready to put Kate in the car, she had managed to put her legs through the leg holes of two pairs of underwear. I went ahead and buckled her into her car seat still clutching her beloved package of underwear. When we got home, she had four pairs of underwear put on as far as she could get them while still sitting buckled in her carseat.

Later when M came home, I told Kate to show him her beloved new underwear. It took us all a moment to locate them. She had taken Claire's new school backpack and had loaded it up with all six pairs of her new underwear and had been toting it all around the living room all evening.

I'm thinking she likes the underwear...

Thanks, But It Would Be Better If You Would Just USE THE TOILET!!!

2011-07-27T12:30:00.004-05:00

Why must motherhood involve so many graphic discussions of poop? I'm sorry for this, but a) this is a pretty funny story and b) this IS my life, so if you want to hear what I have to say, it's gonna be smeared with poop every now and then.

Kate is showing all the signs of being ready to potty train.

Take just now for example. She had a poopy diaper and I got out the supplies to change it and tried to call her over, but she refused to come. Before I could manhandle her into coming over, I was pulled away by one of the other kids for a few minutes. When I came back over, she had laid herself down on the changing pad. She had taken off her own pants, set them nicely down on the floor next to her and had opened her diaper. I found her in the act of trying to wipe the poop off her own bottom with some wipes. There was a huge pile of about 10 wipes covered in poop as well next to her diaper on the changing pad.

Really Kate? Could you just let me do it? If you're so keen on taking care of this stuff, then why is it that every time you tell me you want to go on the potty, I help you sit down and nothing happens? You brought it up, not me. I have been stalling until you were a little older, because the idea of potty training a just under or just over 2 year old who barely talks makes me tired just thinking about it.

On the other hand, has this approach ever been tried? I mean, diapers are expensive, but the worst part is the hassle. What if I just train Kate to change her own diapers (but do a better job at it, of course - 10 wipes is a bit excessive for the average poopy diaper) instead of trying to coax her body to learn how to go when she's sitting on a potty?

Genius. I'll let you know how it goes ;)

Contrasts

2011-07-21T11:47:00.000-05:00

Scott still asks me to open everything for him. Every granola bar package. Every candy wrapper. Every peel-back yogurt lid. It's an area I think we need to work on this summer before he starts Kindergarten.

Kate, on the other hand, is quite resourceful. In the time it took me to load my groceries onto the belt at the store the other day, she managed to reach into the basket and grab a package of yogurts. This in itself was quite a feat because I pile everything on the opposite side of the cart from her. She has a tendency to hug loaves of bread to death and such. I'm sure people go by my cart and wonder why the side nearest the handle is nearly empty while the opposite end is like a teetering Mr. Everest of groceries.

After she grabbed the package of yogurts, she managed to pull one of the cups free from the carton. Then she managed to peel back the lid. When I turned back from the conveyor belt to make sure I got everything out of the cart, I saw Kate sitting there eating yogurt with her hands.

Lately when Scott asks me to open his bag of cookies, I tell him he can only have it if he opens it himself. After all, Scott, your baby sister can do it!

Maows and Bows

2011-07-16T14:46:00.002-05:00

Kate turned two!

She still obsessed with all things girly. But she shows a definite proclivity for cats and hair bows these days.

Her name for cats is the sound they make, which she says, "Maow." She has a little stuffed cat she likes to sleep with and when she asks us to find it in the depths of her blankets in her crib, she always pleads, "Maow." M and I decided to name her little cat Chairman. Now we both get a nice chuckle when we go searching for her little Chairman Mao.

No outfit is complete for Kate without a bow in her hair. Preferably a clip AND a bow.

Whenever she sees me sitting writing something on paper, she insists that I draw her a cat with a bow.

Logical birthday theme? The most famous cat WITH a bow of all. Hello Kitty of course:

If you find yourself wondering how I made these buttercream Hello Kitty cupcakes, feel free to read on. Or if you don't care, that's fine by me. Go on your merry way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I used frozen buttercream transfers to make the little Hello Kitties. I've always wanted to try this technique. The results were fabulous (if I do say so myself) and it was suprisingly easy.

First, I found an outline image of the Kitty herself, made it the right size and copied it as many times as I wanted cupcakes. (I didn't have to mirror the image like you normally would because Hello Kitty is ambi-drawable.) Then I printed it off and taped some waxed paper over it. I put it on a cutting board and then went at it with a tube of black frosting and a simple round tip.

I outlined the whole image first:

Next I switched to red frosting and colored in her oh-so-important bow:

Then I filled the face in with white:

All the frosting color changes would have been a pain, but thanks to this idea, it was easy and not very messy at all!

Then I took the pink frosting I was going to frost the cupcakes themselves with and piped around the outside of Miss Kitty to support her little whiskers. The main idea here is to think backwards. Pipe the things you want to have look like they are on top first and the things you want to look like they are on the bottom last. As my last step I piped a layer of the same pink as the cupcakes over the whole thing to give it some beefiness. When I was all done I got my finger wet so it wouldn't stick and pushed down all over the design to make sure everything was flat and as air-bubble-less as possible.

Then I popped them all in the freezer for about an hour. When I took them out, they easily came off the waxed paper in one piece. In fact they were small enough that I could just pop them off the waxed paper and stick 'em on the frosted cupcakes like stickers. Delicious buttercream stickers.

Peek-a-boo Pet Door

2011-07-15T14:41:00.001-05:00

We don't have a pet, but there was a pet door out to the garage when we bought our house. One of these days, we really should replace that door. But until then, it sure is useful when Kate wants to check up on what M's doing out in the garage. She is very disturbed by lawnmowers and always points at ones that are running and says, "Owie." So this way she can see what he's up to when he's doing yard work without actually risking contact with the evil mower of pain and destruction.

Silence Isn't Golden, It's White and Really Hard to Wash Off

2011-07-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

I had one of those, "It's quiet... too quiet" moments and went looking for Kate. She was in the living room which is designed to be "safe" for her, so how bad could it be?

I called her name and she came toddling toward me. I saw she had a little mess on her hands:

I smelled Desitin. Clearly someone left the closet door open and she had gotten into the diaper changing supplies. And she had a bigger mess on her foot:

So she played with the tube of Desitin and got some on herself. Not too bad. I can take that. Phew.

Then I walked around to the other side of the couch to find the lid for the Desitin tube and saw this:

Kate had decided to change her baby's diaper. That baby doll must have had some wicked diaper rash:

What Would You Call It?

2011-04-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

I miss having my sister and her family here. Really I do. But I'm not going to lie. We were pretty excited to get our 4th bedroom back!

We have always struggled with what to call this room. It normally houses all my sewing and crafting supplies, but to call it the craft room seems too greedy of me. It's where guests usually sleep when they come to visit, but it's so much more than a guest room. Sometimes M will go in there with his work laptop for some peace and quiet when he's working from home, but we already have another room that's officially the office (though we use it as a playroom). I suppose a logical title might be the spare room, but that felt so stuffy somehow.

When we moved into our house, this 4th bedroom was painted a dark, DARK hunter green:

I didn't like it, but there was no rush to paint this extra room that was hardly ever seen. We ended up calling it the "green room." But then a few months later, we painted a green accent wall in Claire's room. So to further clarify, this room became the "dark green room." Cumbersome, I know, but it stuck.

However, when my sister and her family moved out of the room, it needed a little work. And I wasn't about to re-paint it hunter green. So it was finally time to paint that room. We chose a nice light gray. I LOVE it! But the big problem was that calling it the "dark green room" just wasn't going to fly anymore.

M and I wracked our brains for what to call this room. What was it? It was the room that... became whatever we needed it to be.

That was it! In celebration of our regained and freshly painted extra space I splurged and ordered some custom vinyl for the door so we could officially christen it for all to see:

I can't wait until our kids read the Harry Potter books and finally get our joke!

Girly? Yes, But Also She's a Firecracker

2011-04-26T11:31:00.002-05:00

She brought both these items to us and demanded we help her put them on. Then she wore them around for a long time!

But I'm sure she'd be disappointed to know that she's much too cute to be scary...

Fire Ants, How Do I Hate Thee?

2011-04-25T21:52:00.000-05:00

Let me count the ways:

Never mind.
I lost count...

My Girly Girl

2011-04-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

Kate is ALL girl. Her favorite shoes right now are these babies:

Today, she insisted on wearing them to the park. I tried to explain to her that heels just aren't a good choice for the playground. But she didn't listen... just like a typical 21 month old, sheesh! She stumbled around the wood chips on the playground for a long time before she finally admitted defeat and insisted on going barefoot.

The other day she wore these all morning and then I forced her to let me take them off for her nap. She went to sleep for about 2 hours and then I heard her just waking up, so I went in her room to get her. When I got to her crib, she looked at me while still rubbing her bleary eyes and the first thing she said was, "Shoes?" (And she meant these yellow heels, oh yes she did. I tried playing dumb and offered her sandals. She wanted NONE of that.)

I'm really not sure there's anything more comical than these little thunder thighs ending in those shoes. I'm sad because her little chubby feet can BARELY squeeze into them anymore :(

And bows and clips? She loves them! Claire will refuse to leave the house rather than be caught dead wearing a ribbon in her hair. But Kate requested this hairstyle awhile ago:

Claire and Scott have this set of magnetic pieces that build cars. The wheel pieces have treads on them that they discovered can be removed. Whenever Kate finds these removed car wheel treads, do you know what she does with them???

Wears them like bracelets.

For hours at a time!

She's not even 2 years old yet, but we've known all along that Kate is super girly. Her first word was "shoes." You wanna debate about "nature vs. nurture"? Once you have 2 girls that you raised pretty darn near the same and one turns out like Claire and the other turns out like Kate, there is NO question. They come with their own little personalities. And the personality on this one is cracking me up!

You Learn Something New Every Day...

2011-04-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

And Today It Was Two Things - Both of Which I Preferred Not Needing to Know

Today was one of THOSE days. This afternoon as we were all getting ready to take Claire to soccer practice, I ran upstairs to put some laundry away. Kate came upstairs with me and somehow located several Sharpies and had a little fun.

Bad News: She did all this while sitting on my bed.
Good News: The duvet we currently have on our bed is solid black, so we'll never even know if she got some on there.
Bad News: Her feet are STILL covered in black marks.
Good News: Her legs were spared.
Bad News: Her legs were spared because she was wearing leggings, which got Sharpie on them.
Good News: The leggings were dark blue.
Bad News: Not quite dark enough blue to disguise the black marks entirely. And they were new. This was only the 3rd time she had worn them.
Good News: I learned today that, just as the internet suggested, isopropyl alcohol DOES remove fresh Sharpie from clothing.
Bad News: It takes lots and lots of isopropyl alcohol and lots and lots of clean rags. And I had a cut on my finger.
Good News: Thanks to the leggings being dark blue, I think I got enough of the Sharpie out that it isn't too noticeable.
Bad News: While I was elbow deep in rubbing alcohol, Kate found a bottle of lotion that Claire had decided she no longer needed to keep in her backpack now that the dry winter air is gone.
Good News: Kate didn't get lotion ALL over the house.
Bad News: The cap WAS open and it was on her hands. And a little on her dress. And all around her mouth.
Good News: There was still lotion in the bottle, so she didn't drink all of it.
Bad News: I don't know how much lotion was in the bottle to begin with.
Good News: I now know how to call poison control.
Bad News: We were late to soccer practice.
Good News: It was "Mint Chocolate Chip" lotion, so Kate smells minty fresh now.
Bad News: The diarrhea she might get from potentially ingesting lotion will probably be not so minty fresh.

Effect and Cause

2011-04-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was general conference for our church. Over the course of the weekend, we got to hear from the leaders of our church via internet broadcast in several 2 hour sessions.

It's wonderful, but not always easy with the younger set. Really, Claire and Scott did surprisingly well. Kate did pretty well during the first session on Saturday morning, then she was asleep for the second session. But by Sunday morning, I could tell she was wondering, "Why are were doing this again?!?!?"

After a while, a restless Kate started folding her arms and acting like we were going to have a prayer. At first I thought she was misinterpreting the talk as a prayer. I'm sure when you're in the middle of it, a prayer and a talk don't sound that different to a toddler.

Then I realized I wasn't giving her enough credit. She was trying to end the meeting.

Normally at church we have a closing prayer, and then the meeting is over. So if she could just get us to start praying, then this long boring meeting would be over, right???

Sometimes Your Big Sister Draws on Your Forehead with a Marker

2011-03-24T07:54:00.010-05:00

Yah... I really don't know what else to say.

Granted, It's a Simplified Edition, But STILL!!!

2011-03-23T13:56:00.010-05:00

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I catch myself yelling at my kids. I had hoped it wouldn't happen, but really I kinda expected it.

What I didn't expect was how often the words I would end up yelling would be,

"STOP READING!!!"

I mean, I'm grateful that Claire and Scott love reading. In theory it's a good thing. But sometimes it seems like nothing gets accomplished in our house because halfway through doing it one or both of the older kids sees some sort of reading material and gets sucked in. Scott especially can sit for well over an hour in his room, halfway dressed and reading an Andrew Lost book. Each time I come in to check on him, I tell him to stop reading and get dressed. That usually gets us one article of clothing further along in the process before he starts reading again.

I try to corral all the books, but I swear they get up and sneak into new places when I'm not looking.

The other day I went into Claire's room and saw Scott like this:

Yes, he was snuggled up in Claire's floral bed reading Anne of Green Gables.

Injustice

2011-03-22T21:55:00.000-05:00

Why is this okay...

But this isn't???

Seems to me that either way it's sugar on a stick, but the latter skips straight to the chocolate center and makes it actually delicious!

What Mom is Good For

2011-03-08T23:19:00.000-06:00

Kate is SUCH a Daddy's girl. She is finally just starting to say some words, but the one thing she clearly enunciates and has for a long time is, "DADDY!"

"Daddy!" her melodic voice intones with perfect diction.

I, however, am called, "MAH!"
In a screeching yell.

Yesterday M was in the other room while Kate was eating breakfast in her high chair. She called for M, "Daddy!"

No response.

"Daddy?"

"DADDY?"

"DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!!!" all while pointing towards the other room where he is.

M was a bit absorbed with something on the computer, but I was sitting right in front of her at the dining room table.

"Kate, I'm right here. Do you need something?" I asked her.

"Daddy!"

"Yes, I know Kate. But he's busy."

"Daddy! DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! ..."

I gave up trying to reason with her and kind of tuned out for awhile to get something done. If she really needed something, she could just ask me.

"MAH! MAH!!! MAH!!!"

Suddenly, I heard her call me. Did she finally want me???

"Yes, Kate? Can I help you with something?"

Pointing back at the other room she demanded, "Daddy!"

Apparently I've been promoted from room decoration to messenger boy.

The Meta-Vacation

2011-02-27T22:23:00.000-06:00

Remember when I was telling y'all about our travels at Christmastime? Well, I'm picking up where I left off...

I'm not sure what it says about your vacation when you take a vacation from your vacation, but that's just what we did. On the Wednesday before Christmas we left the kids with their grandma and grandpa for a little overnight getaway for M and me.

We drove from the D.C. area up to a cute little town in New Jersey, just outside Newark.

We stayed in a neat old hotel. It was built in 1929.

It had this crazy brickwork on the exterior:

It was very cute, all decorated for Christmas.

Front doors

Lobby

Downstairs hallway

And what could be more romantic than a room decorated with law books?

That night we had dinner at the hotel restaurant. It was delicious. Not quite Driskill Grill, but what is? Except for the dessert. We were running out of time before we had to leave to see our play, but we decided to risk it and order dessert. I got the chocolate lava cake thinking, "Meh. Sounds a little cliche, but it's the chocolately choice."

BOY HOWDY!!! (Is that a dorky enough way to say it for you?) I am SO glad I ordered it! I was so wrong about it being a bit run of the mill. It was the finest dessert I have EVER tasted. Words cannot do it justice. Just know that it was a far cry from the underdone in the middle cake or brownie injected with chocolate syrup that one might expect from the description "chocolate lava cake." Something closer to a truffle with a hot fudge center, then all of it covered in ganache. But better.

...

...

...

Oh! Sorry. I think I just drifted off there. Lost in the memory of that dessert...

Anyway, with a little speeding and crazy U-turns, we found our way to the theater in the next town over. With minutes to spare we pulled into the first parking we found and the parking attendant guy offered us valet parking even though it wasn't normally a valet lot. We took him up on the offer! That's how desperately close to being late we were! (I'll end the suspense and let you know now that, don't worry, the car was still there when we came out.)

M and I had both always wanted to see Les Mis on the stage. That was pretty much the whole point of this little trip. It did not disappoint. We THOROUGHLY enjoyed it.

The next morning, after sleeping in without anyone coming in and asking us for breakfast or asking to watch "Curious George" or anyone climbing into bed with us, and after a lovely full breakfast buffet at the hotel, we boarded the train to New York.

Can I just say now that I found the New York subway system VERY confusing? It's not like I've never been to big cities. I've ridden many public transit systems in many cities, including trains where everything was in JAPANESE, and I was BY FAR the most confused by the New York subway. So there, I said it. I was a NY subway dunce and I really peeved poor M. But we found our way around in the end.

I had never been to New York city before and with only a few hours to work with, we knew there was no way we would come even close to seeing all the things we wanted to. So we just promised ourselves we will go back again someday and picked one thing to do. Our choice?

Some people might think the MoMA was a strange choice given the many choices we had. But going to art museums is something M and I have always enjoyed doing together. And I really enjoy modern art. (And if you're thinking of telling me about how "anyone could do that" and all that crap, please, save your breath. You won't change my mind and if you say anything to that effect it will only make me think you are a neanderthal. I don't want to be forced to think less of you, so let's just leave it all unsaid, mmmkay?) So anyway, it was really fun! Plus it was something we really wanted to do that we figured we were less likely to do if we came back to New York with our kids in tow.

We were running out of time, so we forced ourselves to leave the museum and our last stop was for some pizza in Times Square:

Then we rode the train back to our car in New Jersey and drove back to M's parents' house.

As a final treat on our trip, we enjoyed driving by the Washington D.C. LDS temple all lit up at night:

(But, as you might have guessed, it's not this blurry in real life.)

We got back a good bit later than we had hoped, but it was a FABULOUS little getaway!

Farewell Blue Knife

2011-02-12T21:24:00.000-06:00

My new swiss army knife for my key chain finally arrived! I'm so excited!

Black with snowflakes? How could I resist even if it was a tiny bit more expensive? Snowflakes are "my thing." (My middle name means snow.)

This replaces the swiss army knife I had confiscated at the airport flying out of Salt Lake. I had that old blue knife for something like 15 years. I got it as a teenager and had it on my key chain ever since. It is a testament to my obnoxious anal retentiveness that I managed not to lose it in all that time. I took over 30 plane flights in that time, always remembering to either leave it at home or put it in my checked bags. But I finally forgot. I remembered to put it in my checked luggage for our flight out to Utah, but I accidentally left it in my purse after using it to mend all those wedding clothes at the ceremony. When I got to security, they pulled the pocket knife out of my purse and politely offered that I could go buy a prepaid mailer in the nearby shop so I could mail it to myself. I declined. I had long ago lost the tweezers and the toothpick from that thing, and the plastic face was starting to chip off.

Little blue knife, you had a good run, but it was time for me to move on. Finally an excuse to get a new one!

To Most of the Country, It's Snow Big Deal...

2011-02-11T13:23:00.003-06:00

But to us in the Austin area, less than an inch of snow a week ago meant no school and that M couldn't get to work until 2pm!

We had my best friend from college and her little family staying with us last week. They are moving to the area next month (WOO HOO!) so they were here looking at housing. And of course of all the weeks they come to Texas, it's the one with absurdly low temperatures and a day of snow! We were scrambling to cover the orange tree out back and insulate our outdoor water spigots and I think they were laughing at us a little. I felt better when they found out that it was below freezing back home in Tucson too and people there were having similar problems. Their little boy is the same age as Kate, and he DID NOT like the cold. It was simultaneously SO CUTE and SO PITIFUL watching how miserable he was when we went outside to show him the snow.

Kate, however, was a trooper:

What a week! 76 degrees on the Sunday before and then it didn't get above freezing starting Tuesday night and stretching until Friday. Then this last Sunday is was back in the 70's again. Wednesday of this week we had freezing rain. Texas, I love you, but you're a little bipolar sometimes...

Chop

2011-02-11T08:19:00.002-06:00

BEFORE:

THEN:

(For your reference: One of these squares on the bathroom floor is 9 inches wide.)

AFTER:

She LOVES it. She's the one who's been begging for it. And as for me? I have twinges of sadness, but I'm not minding how easy it is to take care of too much either.

Smithsonian, Naturally

2011-01-23T21:03:00.000-06:00

We arrived at M's parents' house in Virginia just outside D.C. late on the Sunday before Christmas. We spent Monday just recovering and hanging out. Then on Tuesday we decided to take advantage of some Smithsonian fabulousness. Part #1 of the fun was riding the train:

I love the DC Metro. The kids thought riding ANY train was pretty exciting.

Claire and Scott enjoying the view.

Poor Kate. The view from her stroller wasn't so great:

We went to the Natural History Smithsonian. And really the whole point of the visit was, of course, to see this:

It was pretty much four year old boy heaven.

Although really, who could help but be impressed by this?

Let's not kid our selves. Everyone thought it was pretty cool, not just Scott.

But only Scott was so excited he looked liked his eyes were going to pop out of his head from the effort of trying to take it all in at once.

It's also fun to go to a museum where your four year old is the most knowledgable member of the family on the subject. He made a good tour guide.

Or at least he was very good at correcting us when we called fossils by the wrong name.

...and roaring. He's VERY good at dinosaur roars.

We also got lucky because we went to the museum on a Tuesday, and it turns out the Butterfly Pavilion happens to be free on Tuesdays. And not very crowded a couple days before Christmas.

Scott was the only one of the kids who was old/brave enough to hold the butterfly one of the docents put onto a paintbrush.

We had an absolutely fabulous time even though we only saw a small fraction of what was there.

You Could "Count" On How This Would Turn Out

2011-01-21T20:49:00.000-06:00

Lately Claire has a problem with being scared. I don't even know what of - it changes almost daily. Just really spooked, especially when she's by herself, especially at night. So needless to say, bedtime can be a little rough.

Tonight she didn't want to go into the bathroom by herself to brush her teeth. M told her she needed to and they had the following "conversation":

C [yelling] - Rule number one: I'm too scared.

M - Rule number zero: You have to do it anyway.

C - Rule number negative one: I can't. I'm too scared.

M - Rule number negative infinity: I don't care.

C - Rule number negative... infinity infinity infinity: I don't care.

--------------------------------------------------------------

And for those of you who didn't get to see this on Facebook:

Claire's ultimatum the other night when we put her in time out: "If you do that, I'm going to tell you in my MOST STERNEST VOICE..."

(I don't know where she got this. We don't say that phrase to her. Those darn books she's always reading...)

Claire's screamed defense the next night when we put her in time out: "I have SCIENTIFIC REASONS why this is ALL SCOTT'S FAULT. It's because HE doesn't EAT ENOUGH and so he's TOO SKINNY!"

Bonus points if you can guess what Claire did that was supposedly Scott's fault for being too skinny!

Highlights of Grandma and Grandpa's House

2011-01-18T10:16:00.001-06:00

If I were to summarize what the kids did the entire time we were at M's parent's house, this would be it:

Lots and lots of banging on the piano by Claire and Scott. Some of it even sounded like music!

Lots and lots of Kate pointing. Mostly at the dog. (In this case she combined it with her other favorite hobby of wearing shoes. Anyone's shoes.)

We were there for a whole week and even on the last day, Kate was still pointing emphatically at the dog. It was as if she was saying, "Guys! Guys! LOOK!!! It's a DOG!!!" And our reply grew less and less enthusiastic as the week wore on, "Yes, Kate. We see. It's a dog." And she would silently use her finger to reply, "Clearly, you must not see. If you did, you would be as fascinated as I am. That stuffed animal is MOVING!!!"

How Could We Possibly Be Mad After an Answer Like That?

2011-01-16T21:03:00.000-06:00

The other day I saw Claire using the bathroom before she got into the shower. We had the following conversation:

G: "Claire, didn't you JUST go to the bathroom a minute ago when we were downstairs?"
Claire: "Yes."
G: "Why are you going again?"
Claire: "That's just how I roll."

Well then, carry on.

Listening to Your Bladder is Good for the Soul

2011-01-13T22:40:00.000-06:00

If you have to drive halfway across the country, I HIGHLY recommend having your 6 year old need a potty break just as you cross the Alabama/Mississippi border.

Especially if that happens to fall right at sunset.

The Mississippi Welcome Center on the banks of the Mississippi River made a great pit stop.

Thanks Claire - or at least Claire's bladder - for forcing us to "stop and smell the roses" a little.

We made the 24 hour drive from Texas to the Washington D.C. metro area in two days. We certainly didn't take much time to relax in those two days, but this serendipitous stop was definitely a highlight.

Truly a "Gag" Gift

2011-01-12T09:26:00.001-06:00

On our way to visit M's family over Christmas, we stopped for lunch at a Burger King. It's been a long time since I went to one, and the last few times I've been, they certainly didn't have any of those fabulous crowns I so loved when I was growing up. But this Burger King did! We gave the kids all crowns and they had a blast, but M was kind enough to pick up a special one just for me:

Let me tell you, this baby looks great worn backwards as you drive across Mississippi. You see, wearing it backwards makes it cool. (Trust me, cuz clearly I KNOW "cool.")

M kept asking me what I was going to do if I got pulled over wearing that thing. I told him I'd probably get pulled over BECAUSE I was wearing that thing. But I don't know anyone in Mississippi, so it was worth the risk just to watch him squirm.

In 6 Days We Ate Meals in 10 Different States

2011-01-10T22:29:00.001-06:00

Over Christmas vacation, we took quite the road trip. And then M and I took a road trip within the road trip.

We visited a total of 12 states and the District of Columbia on our 14 day trip: 7 states over 2 days on the way there (Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama on day 1 and Georgia, Tennessee, and Virginia on day 2), we added the District of Columbia the 2nd day we were there, we hit 4 more states over 2 days on the little getaway M and I took on our 3rd and 4th day (Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey on day 1 and New York on day 2), and we went through 1 more state (Arkansas) on the way back home to Texas because we took a different route.

(Note: We missed getting a photo of anything to represent our time in Alabama. Oops. And we ate breakfast in Texas on our way out because, honestly? It takes a long time to get OUT of Texas. But we didn't get a photo of anything to represent Texas, it being home and all. Also, although we were in Georgia and the District of Columbia, we did not eat any meals there. We can only claim eating meals in 11 different states. Darn! )

Stay tuned for details on our vacation. And our meta-vacation.

The Flower Children and the Ring Master

2010-12-05T22:49:00.000-06:00

Now that I've waited ridiculously long to talk about it...

M's brother got married a couple months ago, so we flew to Utah for the wedding and reception. We were, of course, happy to go, but flying our family of five there and back in less than 72 hours was no small feat! Our original flight ended up getting canceled and we got moved to a later flight on Wednesday evening, so by the time we got to Salt Lake, got our bags, got our rental car, strapped all the car seats in, and drove to our hotel, it was 12:30 at night. The ceremony was at lunch time the next day. And despite the numerous promises we had received from the hotel staff, the portable crib was NOT already in the room. Ugh. A very late night.

But don't get me wrong. It was wonderful to see M's family.

It was the first time we got to meet our new sister-in-law. In that sense the trip was too short. But in other ways, it was utterly exhausting. You could see it in M's boutonniere after wrestling with the kids:

Everyone but me was in the wedding party. But really, I was Kate's handler, so I think as Flower Girl Wrangler I basically qualified ;) I had the privilege of chasing her all over the place.

But don't worry, M took his turn too:

Claire and Kate were flower girls. But Kate was too little to actually walk down the aisle, so she "stayed" with me while Claire did a great job scattering flower petals down the aisle.

Scott was a ring bearer and he did a great job too. But I preferred it when Claire and Scott kept referring to themselves as "the flower children and the ring master."

The ceremony was at a gorgeous site.

There was a delicious luncheon afterward in the restaurant.

I would have been in heaven if I wasn't so stressed out about averting disaster the whole time! Here's a rundown of the things that happened once we got to the site but before the ceremony even started.

We got everyone ready and then drove the 45 minutes from our hotel to the ceremony location. We had received the clothes for the kids just the night before. You know, when we arrived at the hotel at 12:30 at night. Claire was disconcerted that she wasn't wearing any sleeves. I'm proud of her for being concerned about modesty, but what are you gonna do? Kate's feet required a crowbar to get into her shoes. SUCH fat feet. It's not the width of her feet, but the height. They're really thick up and down. (We had the exact same problem when Claire was a baby - possibly worse. So there's hope that her feet will thin out since Claire's did.) But Scott was the biggest problem. His pants weren't even CLOSE to staying up by themselves and I had forgotten to bring a belt. What was I thinking? You'd think I'd be used to his skeletal frame by now, but because I ONLY buy pants with the adjustable waistbands, I don't really have a good belt for him. The only one I have is red and came with a pair of size 24 months shorts. (It works if I put it on the tightest notch -- Like I said, crazy skinny, ok?) But I should have just bought him a belt if I had been thinking. Or at least a safety pin. I DID, however, remember to bring a needle and some thread, so we threw that into the diaper bag and sprinted out the door because, of course, we were running late.

When we got to the site, Claire stepped on the hem of her dress getting out of the car and the solid band on the edge pulled off the sheer material of her overskirt. So I had to quickly bust out that needle and thread and sew it back together as best I could. Good thing I had brought it! Then we turned back to Scott. M's grandmother held her hand between the needle and the pants so I could sew a big pleat into the waistband of Scott's pants without pricking him. I thought she was being over cautious...until I pricked her finger in my haste and made her bleed. Oops.

But we made it and everyone was presentable again in time for pictures and the ceremony. But after the ceremony while we were waiting for the luncheon, Kate stepped on the hem of her dress too and the same thing happened to her dress, but partway up. The sheer skirt pulled off at one of the bands about two-thirds of the way up. Oh well. At least we didn't have to have it fixed until the next evening's reception!

At the luncheon, we tried to juggle the three kids, and really they did remarkably well. We even just sat Kate in a regular chair at the table and she behaved like a champ. Everything was going smoothly until they served dessert. One of the desserts was a cute little trio of a mini pumpkin pie, a mini crème brûlée, and a mini chocolate cake. Well, apparently the mini chocolate cake looked like a brownie to Scott. While I was distracted by one of the other kids, Scott just grabbed the entire chocolate cake in his hand and started chomping on it. He got chocolate EVERYWHERE. We had taken off his coat in hopes of protecting it, but it was no use. Somehow he managed to get chocolate on every single piece of his clothing except for his tie, his shoes, and his pants. (But don't worry, the pants already had blood on them from the sewing incident.) He chocolate on his white shirt, his vest, his suit coat, AND his socks. (I'm still not sure how he managed the socks...)

That night we got to make a run to the 24 hour Wal-mart (ugh) for stain treater, safety pins, and Ben and Jerry's therapy. We were able to wash Scott's suit in the laundromat at the hotel. I mostly got the pumpkin pie spots out of Kate's dress as well as fixed the tear up. I even made it a little shorter so hopefully she wouldn't step on it again.

The next day we found time to go on a short drive up Provo Canyon.

We only made it up to Bridal Veil Falls, but it was beautiful.

A little cold for us Texans...

...but the fall colors were lovely. I don't miss much about Utah, but I sure do miss the mountains.

Then it was time to do it all over again. We checked out of our hotel and moved all of our stuff into M's parents' hotel room. We decided this time to get dressed after we arrived at the reception site. So it wasn't until we were already there that we realized we had left both the girls' shoes at the hotel. Doh. While I finished getting dressed, M raced back to the hotel to get their shoes. He almost made it back in time. But they went ahead and took the photos with the flower girls about 3 minutes before he arrived. Fortunately Kate was so little she was sitting on a lap I think so no one could tell she had no shoes on. And hopefully no one will notice Claire was barefoot in those photos. At least she got to spend a little less time in the shoes. (By the end of the night, both girls' shoes had worn holes in their feet. Ouch!)

Once again, the reception was gorgeous.

I even adored the table cloths. (Enough to take a picture of them!)

But let's go back to the cake again.

It was very pretty.

But when they went to cut it, I saw this:

Those boys were all drawn like moths to a flame. "Cake? Did someone say cake? Can I have cake???"

Scott: "Oh good, they're busy feeding it to each other. I'll just sneak in here and have a little taste..."

Claire was running out of steam for awhile there.

Then the dancing started and Claire was a little wallflower...

(or should I say "floorflower"?)

Not even her aunt could coax her out:

But then M got her swing dancing!

There were some crazy moves going on!

After that, there was no stopping her. I think she would have danced all night if we let her!

Then we had a sparkler sendoff for the bride and groom.

Exhausted, we made our way to my friend Kristi's house. She moved from Texas to Utah awhile ago and it was so good to see her, even if only for a few hours. She gave us a free place to sleep and we just dumped the kids into their beds.

I should have known better. Putting kids to bed without having them use the bathroom first is always a bad idea. It's even worse when you're staying in someone else's house. And it's super, extra bad when that kid is still wearing his suit.

In the wee hours, we got to change Scott out of his wet suit and move to him over to sleep on the couch. It's a good thing I know Kristi loves us anyway, because there was totally pee all over her air mattress. And in the morning, we got to wash Scott's suit AGAIN!!! In less than 48 hours, that little suit had urine, chocolate, AND blood on it. I felt like we were living in an ad for Spray 'n Wash.

But in the morning, the kids had lots of fun playing with Kristi's kids while I packed:

Then we drove to the airport -- with several detours where our GPS tried to take us to non-existant gas stations to fill up the tank on the rental car. I have to say, our GPS has NOT impressed me.

The kids did so well on both flights getting to Utah, and our flight out of Utah. But I think our luck had just run out by the time we got on our flight back to Texas. Kate had just had it with sitting on our laps. She was fine as long as we walked the aisle with her while she made friends with all the other passengers. But when we started to land and she had to sit on our laps again, she was, shall we say, not pleased. And Claire's ears were hurting her really bad so she was crying. By the time we were getting off the plane in Texas, we were a bit cranky. What a fabulous turn-around the kids felt when the pilot on that flight invited them to sit in the cockpit:

Finally, we made it home, with all of us feeling a bit like this:

Superfly Shutterfly

2010-12-04T13:14:00.000-06:00

My relationship with Shutterfly began back in 2002 when M and I used them to print our engagement photo for inclusion in our wedding announcements. Our photographer recommended them, so we went with it and all 400 some-odd prints looked beautiful.

Fast forward a few years to when we actually entered the digital age and got our first digital camera for Christmas of 2003. Just in the nick of time before Claire, the first grandchild on both sides, was born. We used Shutterfly share sites to show pictures of little Claire to family who lived far away.

I've made baby books for both Claire and Scott using Shutterfly photo books. I used the pictures from their first year to put together a book, and I love how they turned out. And that reminds me... I guess it's time to get cracking on one for Kate!!!

These photo notepads and these photo calendars (customized with our own dates) made great Christmas gifts for the proud grandparents who "have everything."

So for all the things I've ordered and loved from Shutterfly, one thing I've never tried is their cards. So imagine my delight when I read on someone else's blog about Shutterfly's promotion to give 50 free Christmas cards in exchange for blogging about their holiday card collection. Yes, please! They aren't the cheapest option, but based on the print quality I've seen for everything else I've ordered, I bet it's for a reason.

I have a great photo of our family from a wedding in October, so all I need to do is find the right design. But look at all these options!!! I was impressed with their selection of religious Christmas cards. Mad props for making some stuff that is religious without being too cheesy and grandma-ish. And story cards! Genius! No barely legible low-print-quality letter needed for you to brag about your kids! How will I ever choose??? And how cute would it be to have matching address labels?

The kids will just have to scavenge for food themselves for awhile because I'll be sucked into picking Christmas cards!!!

Title-asaurus

2010-11-28T20:42:00.000-06:00

Scott (sitting on the toilet): Guess what kind of dinosaur I am!
G: I-don't-give-a-crap-asaurus?
Scott: No! Guess again!
G: Uh... Get-off-the-freaking-pot-asaurus.
Scott: No! Acrocanthosaurus!!!

Science Project

2010-11-15T13:27:00.000-06:00

One day I looked out my back door window and saw that there were no leaves left on my pentas. I went out to investigate and found no less than 8 hornworms (6 green and 2 brown) trying to live off the four plants in my pot. These were pretty impressively big caterpillars, so we saved them and did a little research. We determined that they would become tersa sphinx moths. So we made a little habitat for two of them and released the rest. I just didn't have enough penta plants left to feed more than two! For about a week they lived in my glass cookie jar. (But I promise I sanitized it really well afterward, so it's safe to eat cookies next time you come to my house!) Then the caterpillars went into their chrysalises for a couple weeks. One morning, we woke up to this:

Halloween Costumes

2010-11-03T09:04:00.011-05:00

This year costumes were MUCH easier. And good thing too. I don't think I could have pulled another sewing marathon this year. (Apparently even though I was able to finish the costumes on time this year, it was too much to have me blog about them in anything close to a timely manner!)

Claire wanted to be a penguin again this year, so she made it easy on me! Last year's costume still fit, so I took the opportunity to add the elastic here and there and stitch a few things closed that I didn't get around to last year.

Scott wanted to be a "scary mummy." I wasn't so sure about the scary part, but I was game for the mummy part. (I don't think a four year old with buck teeth and enormously long dark lashes can be scary even if he tries anyway... Unless you count being scary-skinny because he refuses to eat anything. And really really pale because he is my son.)

If you're wondering about construction on this mummy one, here's the deal (if not, feel free to skip ahead):
I used a long-sleeved white t-shirt and I sewed a pair of basic (pajama pattern in fact) elastic waist white pants with leftover fabric. Then I bought several yards of unbleached muslin. I tore the muslin into approximately 3 inch wide strips the length of the muslin. Then I quickly hand stitched along the top of the strips to attach them onto the shirt and pants. I just wound it around and around, making sure to overlap. Don't think quality hand-stitching here. I'm crazy, but not THAT crazy. Just rough and very long running stitch. Every time I stopped and started a strip I left a little hanging down to give it that disheveled look. In order for the shirt to fit over his head, I stretched it and pinned it around the neck and then made sure to sew it very loosely there. I started there and then did the chest. On the chest I didn't wrap around but rather zig-zagged back and forth until I got below the armpits. Then I made sure the wrapping a the shoulders covered the folded edges. Other than that, I worked up from the hands, up from the bottom of the shirt and up from the feet. I sewed a few of the longer ends into random places to complete the "not too perfect look." Because looking messy should always be premeditated, right?

Kate wore a little kimono that used to belong to M's mom when she was a little girl. Let's see if I get this story right. I believe it goes that M's mom was born in Japan while her father was there with the military. She was wearing this little kimono when she returned to the states.

The only thing I did was make a fake little obi (belt) using some leftover scraps of fabric, velcro, and cardboard from a graham cracker box.

I don't have photos, but M and I wore some recycled costumes from a few years ago. We were "The Track Team" or "Run-Over Runners." Basically we just wore running clothes with a t-shirt that had a large black tire track up the front. We continued the tire track onto our faces with black face paint.

Our main Halloween celebration this year was a party at church. Here are a few highlights:

Claire, I don't think that's the conventional way for penguins to catch fish...

Kate pretty much didn't stop moving the entire evening...

Except while she was on the "hay ride."

Phineas and Ferbkins

2010-11-02T16:08:00.002-05:00

This year in honor of the kids' (and our) latest screen time obsession, we did Phineas and Ferb themed pumpkins:

The Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry pumpkin didn't turn out quite as well, I think. The image was a bit wide for a round surface, and we were a touch too ambitious on the detail. But all in all, I thought the pumpkins this year were a success!

Carving pumpkins is the only part of Halloween M really gets into. For me it's all about costumes, but I'm always up for a little time pretending to be artsy. This is one area where I feel like we stray from our usual, non-traditional jaded selves and REALLY get into the holiday.

I Thought It Would Be EASIER With Just Kate in the Pew...

2010-10-25T08:23:00.006-05:00

Yesterday at church was our ward's Primary sacrament program. This is where instead of adults giving talks, the main portion of our meeting is all of the children in our congregation singing the songs they have been learning this year and giving small speaking parts and talks related to the year's theme.

So while M got up to get attendance numbers (he's the ward clerk), I sat and wrangled Kate while trying to watch Claire and Scott sing the songs. Scott is in the youngest class so he was right up front. Right in front, picking his nose. Picking his nose, and then eating it.

When I recovered from my brain aneurysm, and from vomiting due the grossness, I started trying to gesture to him to stop it. I tried to catch his eye and when I did, I would put my hand up to my face, then quickly put it down and shake my head. I tried waving my hand in front of my face. Scott's face simply got more and more confused looking, and I think the mental strain and nervous energy were sending that finger prospecting deeper and deeper. At last I took both arms, folded them in front of me, and then lifted them up in order to suggest he do the same. And it worked! He folded his arms. Phew!

But! In the few second that I used two hands to gesture to Scott, I had let go of Kate. She had rocketed out of the pew and had started toddling as fast as she could down the aisle. She KNEW she was being naughty, and she thought it was hilarious. She was cackling as maniacally as a 15 month old can and she could barely walk straight she was laughing so hard. At least it slowed her down a little! She was halfway down the aisle before I managed to run while hunched over and grab her, which of course she thought was EVEN MORE HILARIOUS!!!

At least the other people watching me seemed to get a good laugh too.

Three Piece Suit and Pink Flip Flops

2010-10-18T11:28:00.010-05:00

Or

Why You Should Do What Mom Says

[Warning - Not for squeamish pansies]

We just attended a wedding for Marshall's brother last week. The kids were all in the wedding, so at church yesterday we had them all wear their fancy outfits. When we got home from church, we followed the usual routine. We told Claire and Scott to change out of their church clothes. Marshall and I changed our clothes and got Kate out of her church dress. When I checked on him, Scott was still sitting in his three piece suit reading a book. The only thing he had taken off was his shoes. So I helped him out of his suit coat and then told him again to go get changed.

I went to go do something and then I hear a crashing sound of something breaking. I come running into the dining room to find Kate has pulled a glass off the table and now her foot is bleeding.

[Now here I am torn between beating myself up and being defensive. I KNOW Kate is into EVERYTHING lately. I know she pulls things down off the table. I know we need to be religious about clearing off the table. Why, why did I leave my glass from breakfast on the table??? I know I'm a slob, but it's a whole new problem when being a slob hurts your baby. Shame on me. On the other hand, did I mention Kate is into EVERYTHING lately? It's all I can do to keep up with her. Perhaps if church wasn't at 9am, if M hadn't been gone at meetings leaving me getting everyone ready for church by myself, if I wasn't still getting over a bad cold, if I wasn't exhausted like I always seem to be these days, perhaps then I would have remembered to clear my dishes that morning. There. I made a noble effort at being defensive. But my true nature as a mother wins out. I suck. I can't believe I let her get hurt.]

So her cut was bad enough that while weren't about to call an ambulance or anything, she definitely needed to go get looked at. There was a lot of blood. Yuck. So Marshall crammed his shoes on while applying pressure to her cut. I grabbed the diaper bag with my purse in it and rounded the other kids up. Claire was all dressed and just needed to put some shoes on. Scott on the other hand? Still sitting reading that book wearing his dress pants, white shirt, tie, and vest. Oh well, he got to go in his suit. This is why you listen to Mommy when she tells you to get changed. So I told him to go find his flip flops.

Well, of course, of course! We could only find one flip flop. This is why you put your shoes away when you take them off and not fling them willy-nilly all over the house. So Scott got to wear Claire's pink flip flops.

We were a motley crew there in the ER. Scott, as I mentioned was in a beige suit with pink flip flops. Claire had selected to wear pants with holes in the knee. Pants from LAST winter that were total floods on her. M's shoes were untied because it was too hard for him to tie them while applying pressure to Kate's cut. Oh well, I'm sure they see much worse in the ER.

On the up side, everything at the ER went pretty smoothly. It's pretty near our house and when we got there the waiting room was empty and we got to walk right in. The took x-rays of Kate's foot to check for glass in the cut. No glass, so they cleaned it then they numbed it in preparation to glue the cut. Only problem was that every time they went to push the cut back into place, it would start bleeding again. And the glue wouldn't stick if it was bleeding. But since no one wanted to figure out how to do stitches over her toe nail and nail bed, we REALLY wanted the glue to work out.

Finally after another long bout of constant pressure, it stopped bleeding enough to glue it up. But when they were done, you could tell it was still bleeding a little because blood was collecting inside the cut and it was getting all puffy and gross looking. (Or should I say MORE gross looking.) The glue held most of the way, but in a couple spots it opened enough for blood to keep oozing out. Lovely.

But apparently it was good enough because they sent us home. We were supposed to put a sock on her just to keep her from picking at it, but it was all ooze-y and bleeding a little again. So we put a little gauze and a band-aid on it. But after a few minutes of letting her walk around by herself, blood was soaking through her sock. So despite discharge instructions to just leave it be, we decided to bandage her up rather then go back to the ER. I mean seriously, it was already 4pm and we still hadn't eaten any lunch and Kate still hadn't napped at all. (She already missed her morning nap like she does every Sunday because of church, so she was getting delusional.) The bandage seemed to work until she woke up as we were going to bed. We gave her another dose of Tylenol and took the bandage off. It finally didn't look like it would bleed, so we just put a sock on her. Now it just oozes tiny bits on and off, but seems to be okay. We see the pediatrician for a follow up tomorrow morning. Here's how it looks today:

This photo serves two important purposes: (1) it serves as a diet aid - because, seriously, I don't want to eat ever again every time I look at that thing, and (2) it serves to make y'all feel better about yourselves because, clearly, my rug is in desperate need of vacuuming and still I have posted here for all to see (Isn't it nice that you and I are close enough friends that I can let you see my dirty rug? I'm so glad we're tight like that. Hey, if you want to feel like family, c'mon over because have I got a kitchen sink for you to see!)

UPDATE: Kate's cut seems to have come open again. It's not bleeding, but it's kinda gaping. Guess toddlers are too rough on glue. (Seriously, the number of times in the last 24 hours I have watched her stub that toe into something at full speed, wince, then just keep on running is astounding...) I called the doctor's office, but they said to just put a band aid on it to keep it clean and come in for the appointment we already have set up for tomorrow morning.

Claire, This is Riemann. Riemann, Claire.

2010-10-15T21:24:00.011-05:00

M got an email today from his best friend with a good math joke in it:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half of a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer... The bartender says, "You guys are all idiots!" and pours two beers.

Claire was reading it over his shoulder and thought it was funny. I asked her if she knew why it was funny. You know, besides the fact that someone called people "idiots." This led to a discussion of the "pattern" of the fractions. We talked about how if it went on forever, the fractions would get smaller and smaller and closer and closer to just two.

So then we asked her, "When will it finally get to two?"

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "Never."

Well, then. Guess we're ready for calculus.

Not Beige This Time

2010-10-01T16:53:00.000-05:00

Would you look at that?!?!? For my 30th birthday about a month ago, my sister made me the most incredible cake.

I kept looking at it and I just couldn't believe this beautiful thing was for ME!!! Lil' old me! It was almost too pretty to eat.

But don't you worry. Eat it we did. And if you think this thing looks incredible, you should have tasted it.

Heaven. on. a. fork.

Except when I would put the fork down and just lick my plate.

My sister's design was inspired by my wedding cake:

Or perhaps I should say, the way my wedding cake was supposed to have looked. Which is not what you see above.

Don't get me wrong, I think my wedding cake turned out pretty, it's just that I had envisioned something different and even getting what I got was like pulling teeth.

Originally, we weren't even going to have a cake because I don't like cake that much and M doesn't even eat sugar. Seemed silly to spend the money. But my dad seemed to think it was important to follow tradition. (Cue Tevye: "Tradi-tion! TRADITION!") Well, he was footing the bill, so I wasn't going to argue. However, if I was having cake, I was determined that it would be as yummy as possible. At least to me, because I'm selfish like that. Which meant chocolate - none of that white crap.

I went to a bakery my mom had heard good things about and we taste tested their stuff. They had a delicious chocolate cake and chocolate buttercream that I decided to go with. So when it was time to sit down and actually give them my order, I thought it would be easy. In the end, it was a good thing the cake wasn't very important to me.

I told the bakery I wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream icing. Right off the bat, they questioned whether I REALLY wanted chocolate frosting and not white. And I said definitely.

Then they asked what decoration I wanted on it. I told them my wedding kind of had a stylistic theme of bands or stripes, so I wanted each tier to have a band around it about 1/3 to 1/2 of the way up. Then they wanted to know what color I wanted that in. And I said chocolate. Same as the rest of the cake. They thought I was insane. (Do you? To me I think something can be monochromatic and still be pretty because of texture or varying heights, right?) I told them I wanted it all chocolate. They said it wouldn't show up. I said it would show enough. And I told them we would be adding a few fresh flowers ourselves. They were still dubious and suggested what if the frosting was chocolate and they made the band out of a darker chocolate? I thought that sounded okay so I agreed. I didn't know that would mean they would frost the cake with something they waved near some chocolate so it was just a dirty beige color. I wanted CHOCOLATE. I had pictured a subtle contrast of the regular chocolate buttercream I had just taste-tested and a darker chocolate accent.

Then they asked what else I wanted on the cake. I said nothing. They were appalled. I was repulsed by the very suggestion of a gaudy frilly cake. I like me my streamlined. Tailored. Simple. They told me I HAD to have something or it would be too boring. I said I didn't like a lot of decoration. Then they told me fine, but they wouldn't be able to get the edges on the bands smooth enough so they had to pipe the edges. So I told them fine, make it a straight line then. They again looked at me like I was crazy.

If I had actually cared much about this cake, then I SO would have walked out on them and found someone else. But whatever. In the end the cake was pretty good - a lot better than something non-chocolate. And it was pretty enough, even if it wasn't the tower of chocolate decadence that I had envisioned.

But 8 years later, my sister's cake was perfect. I have the best sister EVER!!!

Twin Cousins

2010-09-19T20:41:00.001-05:00

Kate is only two and a half weeks younger than her cousin. I'm sure someday they will be the best of friends. But for now, they mostly like to steal each other's toys.

Well, in a whirlwind of sudden changes in plans, my sister and her little family left. Her husband went to camp for the Army for five months so they all went. And now, after having eight people living in our house for the past four and a half months, we have our house back to ourselves again.

On the one hand, it's a lot quieter...
Wait a minute! Who am I kidding? It's a lot LESS LOUD.
And now we can have underwear dance parties in the living room after the kids are in bed.

On the other hand, the live-in friends/babysitters are gone.
Now I have to wake up all three kids every time I take Claire to school.
And I have no adult conversation until M gets home.
And whose high chair tray will Kate steal food from now???

"Hey cuz! C'mere and let me sit on you."

Get the Gift - My Favorite Shower Game

2010-09-13T07:13:00.001-05:00

I did a baby shower several years ago where I had to come up with a game. Since then, I've used it again and several people have asked for the the info on it too, so I thought I'd post it here. Then I can just give people a link when they want info on it and I can share with anyone else out there who might be looking for a good shower game. I love this game!

The idea for the game is loosely based on Pass the Parcel, which we played at some of my birthday parties growing up. I wanted to play a game where lots of people got a little prize. I like to spread the love :) So I put my present to the guest of honor in the middle, then I wrapped it in many layers of wrapping. (I stock up on cheap stuff after Christmas that doesn't look like Christmas paper and intersperse it with blank newsprint or whatever else I have around. You could even just use newspaper to be inexpensive.) Inside each layer I put a little favor. I usually buy packs of mini-nail polish and mini-rolls of ribbon at the Target Dollar Spot and then split them up. You could also use something like candy or whatever you want.

The second element I wanted to incorporate is a get-to-know you quality to the game, so rather than just "pass the parcel" I thought we could decide who to pass it to next based on something about that person. My friend had found a few rhymes on the internet (source unknown), so I started with those but there were only about ten. I added to them so there would be plenty for everyone to get one. I taped a rhyme to the top of each layer of the wrapping. Start with the last rhyme on the innermost wrapping and then put the first rhyme on the outermost layer of wrapping.

So here's how it works. You hand the gift to the guest of honor and have her read the first poem from the outside. Here are the little rhymes with the description of the "winner" in bold:

You thought all the gifts were meant for you,
But I have other items too.
So hold up this gift and look all around
Then pass to the one with eyes of darkest brown.

You might think you are the lucky one,
But let's all try to share the fun!
Look around with eyes discreet
And pass to the one with the smallest feet.

Your feet are tiny and very smallest.
Now hand this to someone very tallest.

Please take your time and don't be harried.
Give this to the one who is longest married.

You must be proud of your married life.
Now pass this on to the newest wife.

Of this parcel you are bereft.
Give it to the one on your left.

The longest earrings we're looking for now.
If you're wearing them, step up with a bow.

Now that you have gotten your treat,
Give this to the one with the largest feet.

Look around with all your might
And pass to the one of shortest height.

Now search for all the buttons you can find.
Look for the most, of any kind.

Now don't get cross and please don't fight,
But pass this to the lady third on the right.

Is she here or is she there?
Find the lady with the shortest hair.

Some of us may live far away.
Who came the furthest to be here today?

No matter where she lives on this earth
This lady is living farthest from the place of her birth.

Though it may make you shy, just a smidge,
Being the oldest comes with privilege.

You're the one whose years are most,
But now the youngest will play host.

To whom is this place the dearest?
Pass this on to the person born nearest.

Her life probably does not feel very calm,
So give this to the one who is the newest mom.

Search in this room, not all through the land
And find the one with the longest nails on her hand.

Your nails are so long! That totally rocks!
Now hand this to the person with the longest locks.

You are given the power to choose.
Pass to whoever you want, you cannot lose!

Give this to the person with the longest name.
Learning to spell it was no silly game!

Now the gift goes to the mom with the oldest child.
She can tell us all about how teenagers are wild.

Look straight ahead is what I ask you to do
Then pass to the one directly across from you.

A little discussion and we'll be able to tell
The lady whose name is shortest to spell.

Opposite of giving the worm to the early bird,
Put the gift in the hand whose knock was last heard.

I know, I know, the rhymes are getting worse.
Pass this to the one with the biggest purse!

I think we should stop now, don't you agree?
So give this last gift to the Mother-to-Be.

(I've never done it, but I'm sure the last rhyme could be changed to "Bride-to-Be" so the game could be used for a bridal shower.)

After each little rhyme is read, the group determines who the "winner" is and passes the gift to them. They unwrap a layer, retrieve their favor that was wrapped inside, and read aloud the next rhyme taped to the outside of the next layer. It's up to you whether you want to allow repeat winners or whether you want to skip people who have already won once and find a runner-up who hasn't gotten anything yet. I wrote enough to allow for 27 winners plus the guest of honor, so obviously you can expand or condense to meet your own needs. Let me know if you have any questions, but I hope you enjoy this game as much as I do!

Last Hurrah

2010-09-12T20:58:00.002-05:00

We went to an uber fancy dinner in downtown on Friday. We had something like a gift certificate from M's work for his 5 year anniversary with the company. We had to take advantage of our live-in babysitters before they leave this coming week.

It. Was. So. Delicious.

I've spent the whole weekend drooling over the memory of that food. Now every time I go to select food at my own house, I am overwhelmed by the not-as-fabulousness of it all. I figure, what's the point of making dinner anymore? It will never be that dinner. I might as well just go microwave a hot pocket.

30 - It's Like 25 But With More Money

2010-09-09T12:15:00.000-05:00

M and I went out to celebrate my 30th birthday:

I was a little nervous about turning 30. Did I do all the fun things I should have before I got "old"?

The weekend after my birthday, we left the kids with my sister and went to the lake. We rented wave runners for an hour and at the end of it I realized that in many ways, this stage of life is WAY better than 5-10 years ago. There are many reasons, but for one thing, now we can actually afford to do the fun things we could only dream about when we were 25.

Laundry Baskets as Building Materials

2010-08-27T21:13:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday we made a Costco run for just the essentials. Milk and Mockingjay.

Now I'm trying desperately to get to read it. But my children have the audacity to, like, need stuff.

There is an important benefit to not getting around to folding all that laundry in my bedroom. I can stack all the baskets on the edge of my bed between me and the door. If I lay on my bed behind the wall of laundry, the kids can't see me even if they come looking for me. I can read in peace for a few minutes!

I have dubbed it my "Fortress of Laundritude."

Also, another benefit of the Fortress of Laundritude? When I go to bed, it can be relocated as a barrier to my side of the bed in hopes that for once any child who wakes in the night and comes in our room will go to M's side of the bed and poke him awake instead of me. Mwa-ha-ha!!!

Chess Is Too Stressful

2010-08-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Claire's 1st Grade Teacher for the Coming Year,

I think the "All About Me" sheet you gave us to bring the first day of school is a great idea. I'm sorry that I ripped off the little note stapled to the front before Claire could see it. You see, I didn't want to write all her answers for her. I mean, yes, I'm busy and wanted one less thing to do. But it was more than that. I knew Claire could do it, but if she saw your note saying that she wasn't expected to be able to and that I could write her answers for her, then she would whine for me to do it. Sometimes Claire cares more about "making the grade" than she does about personal accomplishment. Sometimes she wants to do things perfectly more than she wants to challenge herself and make herself grow. Come to think of it, she's a lot like her mom...

Anyway, here's the thing. You know the entry where the sheet says, "My favorite sport or game:"? Please remember that Claire was filling this sheet out all by herself when she wrote, "soccer and chess." Chess! HA!!! I know what you're probably thinking, but I'm not one of THOSE parents. You know which ones I'm talking about. I did not show her chess flashcards when she was 16 months old. I don't even like chess. (M does, so if you have to blame someone, it's probably him!) She is not enrolled in chess classes on Tuesday afternoons. In fact, she is on a soccer team. A nice, normal soccer team.

Do you have any advice on how I explain to her that soccer is fine, but listing chess is a bit much for a 1st grader? I mean, I'm her own mother and I want to tease her for being nerdy and writing that. Besides, it's a bit cocky of her. She's not that good at chess. She can't even think ahead more than one move! I can beat her in like 20 minutes. Her strategy needs A LOT of work. But I digress...

As we enter this school year, please bear with me. I am trying very hard to find the balance between advocating for my child and just being obnoxious. I want to help Claire not be bored, but more than that I want her to be happy. Not just in the short run, but in the long haul too. First and foremost, I want her to be a good person. I want to know what I can do to help you teach her. I want to further her education, both in academics and in life skills, but at an appropriate level. Therefore I want to be involved in her schooling. But I don't want to be THAT mom. I don't want to call you daily to tell you that my child walks on water and can do no wrong. I want you to be allowed to give her constructive criticism. I don't want to whine all the time that you aren't offering her college level curriculum yet. I don't want to appeal to the principal every other day for more, MORE, MORE!!!

I want to be cool. I'd like to think that I'm pretty cool. Totally not all lame and geeky and unable to carry on a normal conversation. Laid back enough to not be obnoxious, but still a responsible parent.

So please, don't judge me just because my 1st grader listed "chess" as her favorite game.

Sincerely,

G (Claire's very cool and definitely not overly nerdy or pushy mom)

Our Torture Methods

2010-07-28T22:21:00.004-05:00

We tried to coerce Claire into reading a new series this summer. I mean, I was tired of just looking at the same "Magic Treehouse" covers over and over again. I don't know how she could stand another second of actually reading about Jack and Annie AGAIN. For those of you familiar with this series, I have some suggestions for future additions to the "Magic Treehouse" books:

Vacant Looks at the Vernal Equinox
Waxing Legs at the Waning Gibbous
Alliterative Altercation Ante Meridiem
Bosons and Bozos at the Big Bang
Really Redundant Repetitive Reading at Recess Redux

Thankfully my friend Janssen just spent a year being a school librarian and she gave us some great ideas.

First Claire tried a couple "A to Z Mysteries." But they got off to a rocky start. The first one she read was called "The Jaguar's Jewel." Ummm... please tell me there are other parents out there who wouldn't be able to resist calling it "The Jaguar's Jewels" and snickering a little every time they said it? No? Well then, good. Because M and I would certainly never do that... We'd just sympathize with the one-jeweled jaguar. Poor guy...

So then we thought we'd get Claire to try the "Time Warp Trio" books. In order to "encourage" Claire, M gave her an assignment. Claire's answers included below:

Claire's Summer Book Reports
Assignment #1 - Time Travel Books

Write a book report that answers the following questions. Write at least one or two sentences about each question. Use specific examples from the book(s). Report may be handwritten or typed.

1. How are the Magic Tree House and Time Warp Trio books alike?

Both books have people who travel in time using books. Both sets of books have the same characters in each book.

2. How are the Magic Tree House and Time Warp Trio books different?

One series has missions and the other just travels wherever because they don't know how to work the book. One has all boys and one has a boy and a girl. One has two people and the other has three.

3. Which series do you like better? Why?

Magic Treehouse because... I don't know.

There you have it then. She can properly use ellipses but still prefers Magic Treehouse books. It boggles the mind.

They Totally Ratted Me Out

2010-07-23T08:27:00.001-05:00

A little while ago, we had some people over for dinner. I set the table a tiny bit nicer than usual. When we all sat down to dinner, Claire picked one of the paper napkins up by the corner, held it up in the air in front of everyone at the table and loudly asked, "What is this????"

The cat's out of the bag. I usually forget to put napkins on the table. I'm not sure what my problem is. Growing up, my mom put cloth napkins on the table with every meal. Perhaps I'm just adverse to killing trees and/or doing extra laundry? What about you? Do you have beautiful linens laid out for your bowl of cereal? Or do you keep a nice stack of those tissue-thin paper numbers on the table? Or are you like me and have caught your children wiping their hands on the chair upholstery?

Our Children Will Probably Always Hate Easter

2010-07-15T21:23:00.002-05:00

Today I came across this photo and it got me to reminiscing about Easter:

This past year, even Kate got an Easter egg hunt.

Just one egg though. I said egg, not eggs.

We put it just out of reach. Every time she almost got a hold of it, the egg would roll just out of reach again. M and I were evil, cruel parents who sat and watched. And laughed at her.

I refuse to feel guilty. That's what you get when you're 9 months old and still don't know how to crawl.

However. What we did to Claire when she was one month old, I may occasionally feel twinges of guilt about:

But the guilt is hard to notice because I'm laughing so hard.

Fun, But Not Much Elbow Room

2010-07-14T20:21:00.000-05:00

"Claire? Scott? Um... I'm not a toy."

Grr!

2010-06-29T23:04:00.002-05:00

~~Oepen~~ Closed! or else >:( grr!

My Bleeding Ugly Front Door

2010-06-26T23:29:00.000-05:00

This was my front door last fall.

There are two noteworthy things about this picture:

First of all is the pretty wreath of fall leaves. I got it on clearance after Thanksgiving the year before. I was so excited when fall came around and I got to bust it out. It looked nice. I liked that it wasn't made of fake silk leaves, but instead out of the real dried leaves.

That proved it's downfall. You see, those nice dried leaves are dyed to help them be the pretty colors they are. As the weather cooled off, we had a streak of foggy wet days. The fog would condense onto the leaves, and then they would bleed. Drips of red and orange trickled down my beige front door and dripped onto my front stoop and onto the rug inside when the door was opened. (I still have a red spot on the rug inside.)

I might have found a way to deal with that, but then the leaves started molding. I tried spraying Lysol on them to stop it, but do you know what's worse than drips of red dye all over your front door? Drips of red Lysol. In the end, the wreath had to go. I'm still in mourning, and it's already summer.

The second noteworthy thing about that photo is the utterly boring color of the door. Blah. I've wanted to change it since we bought the house three years ago. (Has it really been that long? Have we really accomplished so little in that much time???) But I agonized FOREVER about what color to paint it. I wanted it black at first, but then I thought that might look weird with my Texas limestone colored house.

In the end, I followed my instinctive love and this spring I painted it a nice fugly green:

And it even covered all the stains from the wreath incident! What do you think?

"Garbage Disposal" IS a Bit of Misnomer...

2010-06-23T21:23:00.000-05:00

Awhile ago I treated the kids to lunch from a restaurant. I brought it to Claire at school and when Claire's lunchtime was over, Scott still hadn't finished so we brought it home and he finished there. Later, I looked into my kitchen sink and saw this:

I guess I should be glad that my efforts to get them to "clear their dishes" are paying off.

The Sand Man

2010-05-26T23:57:00.006-05:00

On Friday I took Scott and Kate to a sprinkler park. Like with water shooting out of the ground in all sorts of fun configurations. It was a lot of work too to take them too - sunscreening, packing lunch and what have you.

At least Kate seemed to enjoy it, so I suppose that made it worth it.

I'm not sure what's broken in the minds of my two older children, but neither of them have ever really liked sprinkler parks. They LOVE swimming. But sprinkler parks, what with their lack of potential for fatal drownings, just don't make the grade apparently.

The whole time we were there, Scott just wanted to play in the sand instead. I think he's crazy to pick sand over sprinkler park, but I should have known. He does this any time we are at a park. He lives for sand volleyball courts. When I try to track him down at a park, usually I see this:

Which is really fabulous when Kate is exhausted and crying and it's time to go RIGHT. NOW. (Scott still can't/won't put on his own sock and shoes.)

*sigh* I guess it's not that bad. On the up side, it kept him busy during Claire's soccer practices. Plus, he's my little boy and he's all cute to watch and stuff:

Should I Have Seen This Coming?

2010-05-24T20:59:00.006-05:00

We've learned over the years that parenthood is in large part having some new thing you never worried about before come around a blind corner and bite you in the face.

Sometimes it's literal. Kids get teeth eventually and you feel like an idiot for not thinking through the consequences of the "trick your kid into biting the end of your nose when they were trying to give you a kiss" game.

Sometimes it's more figurative. Like when your child learns to crawl and you forget you can't just plop them down somewhere and walk off only to find them a few minutes later banging glass baby food jars on the tile floor. (If you've never tried this, it does make a cool, unique, dink dink sound and after your child ventures into the pantry one or two times you will recognize it instantly.)

Sometimes you really should have seen it coming. Like when your four year old decides that as far as he is concerned, dinosaurs STILL rule the earth. And when he gets a toy tyrannosaurus figurine for his birthday he carts it around everywhere for over a month. And reminds you that T Rex needs to watch TV (when you have decided your son can't), needs to go to bed or take naps, and really really likes melted cheese on top of his hot dog. You'd think you would expect Rex to be around but occasionally he'll just show up somewhere and take you by surprise (you see, figuratively biting you in the face). Like this.

But then sometimes you really just had no reason to predict what would come your way next. You've read the parenting books. You spend time with your kids. In retrospect it seems obvious but you just weren't prepared for...

Xenosaurus Rex - Space Faring Meat Eating Parent Rule Evading Dinosaur Who Takes Off His Helmet When He Is On Mars (and really likes melted cheese)

See, didn't see that coming, did you?

They Don't Pay Those Chinese Workers Enough

2010-05-22T22:54:00.001-05:00

Having a little crawler in the house has really made things extra crazy around here. I never realized before how spoiled I was by being able to just leave Kate to entertain herself while I went to another part of the house to do something. Now she doesn't stay where I leave her! Imagine that! She is finding all kinds of choking hazards to play with. Really though, it's getting bad. She may be following in her brother's footsteps.

---------------------------

In light of Kate's exploits, I've decided to support the green movement in packing materials. When Kate eats styrofoam, I have to have a wrestling smackdown where I extricate tiny white balls from her mouth. When she eats the starch based packing peanuts, I can pretend I didn't see anything and run off to get one more thing done!

---------------------------

The other day I went to change a poopy diaper for Kate. Mingled with the poop I found a little plastic sticker that said, "Made in China." Hmm... Who knew even THAT could be outsourced?!?!?

Oh, the Humanity!

2010-05-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

Scott is fond of his vehicles. Particularly his Tonka vehicles. And he likes to crash them.

Frequently he excitedly summons me to witness his latest creation - a staging of a particularly horrific crash.

Sometimes the vehicles vary...

...but always the feasibility given either typical traffic patterns or the laws of physics as I understand them is called into serious question.

And I am left to ponder doomsday scenarios: Who will respond to an emergency if the fire truck, police car, AND ambulance are all lodged into the bed of an enormous dump truck?

All I can say is, "Man, I HATE when that happens!!!"

The End of the World As We Know It

2010-05-13T21:03:00.005-05:00

Did I Mention We ALSO Got a New Roof Installed Today?

2010-05-06T21:59:00.001-05:00

We've had a lot going on. My sister, her husband, and their baby moved in with us about a week ago. So helping them get settled is pretty much taking up all my spare time lately.

Fortunately, we've had our minivan to help cart most of their stuff over to their storage locker. And speaking of my love/hate relationship with my Toyota Sienna, if you haven't already seen this one, you definitely should:

Do You Know How to Act Like an Aardvark?

2010-04-26T10:22:00.002-05:00

Every Monday night we have a family night. We all take turns picking a treat, an activity/game, etc. One of the kids' favorite games is "Pretend to Be Animals." (Doesn't the naming creativity just blow you away?) We each take turns acting like an animal and everyone has to guess what animal we're pretending to be. It's nice because even very little kids can usually bark or moo enough to take a turn. But as our kids are getting older, and more importantly in order to entertain each other, M and I have started digging pretty deep for our animal choices.

The other night, M was crawling around on all fours, yipping, and, near as I could tell, pretending to eat Kate.

G - "You're a coyote?"
M shakes his head
Scott - "You're a dog?"
Claire - "You're a wolf?"
M shakes his head and yips and yips and barks some more. The kids laugh hysterically.
G - "Okay... you're a hyena?"
M shakes his head and proceeds to mock nibbling Kate some more. More laughing at Dad's absurd behavior.
G - "So you... eat? babies?"
M nods emphatically.
G - "Wha????"
M continues frantically pantomiming.
G - "I just don't know. What ARE you???"
Scott - "You're... you're... YOU'RE A STUPID MAN!"

Well Scott, that may typically be true of a grown man who crawls around on all fours, yips, and pretends to eat his daughter, but I'm not sure that's what he was going for.

Anyone want to hazard a guess about what he was pretending to be? I was too dense to catch on and after I finally stopped laughing at Scott's comment, M had to tell me the answer.

PS - I've found the best way to get someone to guess "aardvark" is to crawl around on all fours while humming the Sesame Street song.

Maybe They Were Getting Paid By the Letter

2010-04-15T22:21:00.001-05:00

I was pulling out of a driveway and a street ahead of us had a sign that said, "NOT A THROUGH STREET."

Claire asked me what that meant. I explained that if you turned onto that street, you couldn't use it get to any other streets. It didn't go "through."

Then Claire asked me, "Why didn't they just say 'NO OUTLET'?"

I don't know Claire. I don't know.

What a Waste of Two Thirds of a Cake!

2010-04-14T23:19:00.000-05:00

Claire and Scott had their birthdays recently. We didn't do a party this year, but instead we went camping at their request. (More on that later.)

I finished this birthday banner just in the nick of time. The concept was part of a church craft day back in October. I received most of the supplies and just had to pick out my own fabrics. Which I promptly did in February. So, obviously, I'm really on top of my crafting. (Don't even ask what ELSE is half done in my house!)

On a Saturday between their two birthdays, they had to share a cake for our little family celebration of pizza, cake, and ice cream. They couldn't agree on the cake.

Claire: I want vanilla.

Scott: I want chocolate.

Claire: No! I want vanilla!

Scott: NO! Chocolate!!!

Claire: Wait! Nevermind. I want PINK!

G: Fine guys, here:

In fact, in order to keep the peace, we'll just go with Neapolitan ice cream too:

And here it is pre-massacre in my beloved cake dome:

(Seriously. Not witty enough right now to adequately express the irrational love I have for this cake dome.)

Attack of the Easter Eggs

2010-04-11T20:54:00.001-05:00

Fat Old Man Eating a Bowl of Cereal Outdoors?

2010-04-08T00:08:00.003-05:00

I got a new camera, so...

requisite baby in the bluebonnets shot:

I'm pretty sure your child cannot claim to be a true native Texan unless they can produce photos of themself as a baby posed amidst the Texas state flower.

When Did This Happen?!?!?

2010-04-07T16:05:00.021-05:00

The other day, I woke up and realized that I'm a soccer mom.

Like, literally:

I'm not sure how this snuck up on me. I already had three kids, a minivan, and a house in the suburbs, so I should have seen it coming. But now I'm bonafide.

On the other hand, if being a card-carrying soccer mom is the price to pay for watching this kid literally bounce around the soccer field with enthusiasm she just can't contain... I'll take it!

Not Sure If I'm Looking Back Longingly or Saying Good Riddance

2010-04-06T08:55:00.002-05:00

It's barely April, but the last few days have been warm and muggy enough to be a bit uncomfortable. How is it possible that this photo was taken on my front lawn a mere 6 weeks ago???

Guess that's Texas weather for you!

Maybe I Should Just Wear Long Sleeves For Awhile

2010-04-05T15:54:00.001-05:00

You might think I'm crazy for letting this happen, but you need to know that Scott is probably what you would call an "oral" kid. He puts everything in his mouth. I'm ashamed to admit that I've gotten kind of used to him putting his mouth on me. A couple Sundays ago, Scott was sitting on my lap in church. He was slumped over and cuddled up against the inside edge of my upper arm. I felt that his mouth was probably open, but I didn't think much of it because, like I said, he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. I'm a mom. Drool just doesn't phase me anymore. But it just felt to me like he had his mouth open and that was it. However, eventually getting drooled on did get old, so I tried to make him move. There was this sucking sound as I broke the suction between his mouth and my arm. I look down and realize he has not just been drooling on my arm, but very gently sucking on my arm. I was left with a hickey! FROM! MY! SON! Granted it was very small and probably nothing someone would notice, but STILL!!!

I Can't Quite Go So Far As To Call It "Incredible"

2010-03-16T12:25:00.001-05:00

For Claire and Scott's birthdays they requested a camping trip. Seeing as I am not 7 months pregnant this year and the humidity is not 100%, I'm optimistic that we will have a very enjoyable time.

Kate has been overseeing our camping preparations.

Here she is making sure the new monstrosity of a tent we bought will be big enough for her pack'n'play. (M was making sure he knew how to set the new tent up in something less than four hours.)

Something about that fifth member of the family really becomes a tipping point. Fortunately (unfortunately?) we had already succumbed to the minivan, but our cute little dome tent just wouldn't do anymore. Our upcoming camping trip will be the inaugural voyage of our huge new green colored tent which I shall affectionately dub "The Hulk."

Any tips for camping with a baby? She's an easy baby, but I've never done this baby camping thing before so I'm still nervous.

At Least She's Making Use of Her Christmas Present

2010-03-15T08:04:00.005-05:00

Riding the roller coaster of parenthood:

(The following photos were taken within 10 minutes of each other.)

"Mom won't let me do whatever ridiculous thing I asked for today. I'll show her! IN ALL CAPS TOO!!!"

"Oh crap! I just saw Mom taking a picture of my 'I hate you' sign and she says she's gonna show Dad. I know how to fix this! And perhaps using correct capitalization will butter her up even further!"

Comically Late

2010-03-10T12:22:00.001-06:00

Well, now that spring is here in Texas, I thought it was high time I played photo catch up with a little seasonally inappropriate gem:

Having Grandma and Granpa come for Christmas is much cooler when Grandpa shows up wearing a Santa hat...and riding a motorcycle.

Where is the Laugh Track?

Best $15 I Ever Spent

Pretty Much Sums Things Up

Who Wouldn't Smile for This Photographer?

We're Still Into Us

New Vocabulary

Definition of SHOBOS

Photography Challenge Day #12 - Sunset

At Least the Commute is Short

Happy MLK Day!

Feel Loved, Grandma. Feel Very Loved.

Photography Challenge Day #11 - Something Blue

Mom Said I Had to Wear Shoes To Go Outside...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My Favorite Little Bum

Hooray for Ballad Meter!

Photography Challenge Day #10 - Childhood Memory

Photography Challenge Day #9 - Someone You Love

Photography Challenge Day #8 - A Bad Habit

Photography Challenge Day #7 - Fruit

Photography Challenge Day #6 - From a Low Angle

Progress!

Photography Challenge Day #5 - From a High Angle

Halloween Costumes 2011

Pumpkins 2011

Photography Challenge Day #4 - Something Green

Photography Challenge Day #3 - Clouds

Photography Challenge Day #2 - What I Wore Today

Photography Challenge Day #1 - Self-Portrait

Turns Out, You NEED Those Numbers at the End

-2 lbs

Diet Aid

C'mon Scott, Your Baby Sister Can Do It!

I Want the Drought to End Too, BUT...

A Casual User

When You're So Excited You Put Underwear on Over Your Clothes

Thanks, But It Would Be Better If You Would Just USE THE TOILET!!!

Contrasts

Maows and Bows

Peek-a-boo Pet Door

Silence Isn't Golden, It's White and Really Hard to Wash Off

What Would You Call It?

Girly? Yes, But Also She's a Firecracker

Fire Ants, How Do I Hate Thee?

My Girly Girl

You Learn Something New Every Day...

Effect and Cause

Sometimes Your Big Sister Draws on Your Forehead with a Marker

Granted, It's a Simplified Edition, But STILL!!!

Injustice

What Mom is Good For

The Meta-Vacation

Farewell Blue Knife

To Most of the Country, It's Snow Big Deal...

Chop

Smithsonian, Naturally

You Could "Count" On How This Would Turn Out

Lately Claire has a problem with being scared. I don't even know what of - it changes almost daily. Just really spooked, especially when she's by herself, especially at night. So needless to say, bedtime can be a little rough.

Tonight she didn't want to go into the bathroom by herself to brush her teeth. M told her she needed to and they had the following "conversation":

C [yelling] - Rule number one: I'm too scared.

M - Rule number zero: You have to do it anyway.

C - Rule number negative one: I can't. I'm too scared.

M - Rule number negative infinity: I don't care.

C - Rule number negative... infinity infinity infinity: I don't care.

--------------------------------------------------------------

And for those of you who didn't get to see this on Facebook:

Claire's ultimatum the other night when we put her in time out: "If you do that, I'm going to tell you in my MOST STERNEST VOICE..."

Highlights of Grandma and Grandpa's House

How Could We Possibly Be Mad After an Answer Like That?

Listening to Your Bladder is Good for the Soul

Truly a "Gag" Gift

In 6 Days We Ate Meals in 10 Different States

The Flower Children and the Ring Master

Superfly Shutterfly

Title-asaurus

Scott (sitting on the toilet): Guess what kind of dinosaur I am!G: I-don't-give-a-crap-asaurus?Scott: No! Guess again!G: Uh... Get-off-the-freaking-pot-asaurus.Scott: No! Acrocanthosaurus!!!

Science Project

Halloween Costumes

Phineas and Ferbkins

I Thought It Would Be EASIER With Just Kate in the Pew...

Scott (sitting on the toilet): Guess what kind of dinosaur I am!
G: I-don't-give-a-crap-asaurus?
Scott: No! Guess again!
G: Uh... Get-off-the-freaking-pot-asaurus.
Scott: No! Acrocanthosaurus!!!