Scott is Not a Giraffe (In Case You Were Unaware)

The other day we were leaving a church activity and it was a bit late at night considering we had 9am church (or 6:30am meetings in M's case) the next morning.  We were trying to herd the kids out the door, but Scott insisted that he needed to stop for a drink at the drinking fountain.

G:  "Fine, Scott.  Get a drink real quick."

Parents turn away distracted by one of the other kids, then turn back to Scott.

G:  "Scott, are you done getting a drink yet?"

Scott:  "Not yet, Mom.  I..."  *insert frustrated whiney cries and other non-verbal noises here*

G:  "Relax Scott, just get a drink."

Scott:  "I can't!"  *more frustrated whiney non-verbalness*

G:  "Why not?"

Scott:  "My neck's not long enough."

G and M laugh

M:  "Rock on, Scott.  Rock on.  Way to tell it like it is."

Scott, totally exasperated:  "NO!  I'm not rocking on.  I'm trying to get a drink!"


Sheesh!  Those pesky parents.  Always trying to pretend to be hip and with it when you're trying to quench your thirst.

But in our defense, we did eventually lift Scott up to get a drink, so maybe he'll decide we're worth keeping around.  At least until his neck grows...

Cheap Money

Has anyone else seen that you can buy postage stamps at Costco?  Not only can you buy a roll of 100 stamps at Costco, but you can buy them at a DISCOUNT!  Albeit a slight discount, but a discount nonetheless.  I've always thought a postage stamp was like a little adhesive chunk of money.  You know, like a dollar bill with double sided tape on it.  It weirds me out a little.

How did Costco negotiate this arrangement?  Did it threaten to withhold the toilet paper supply for all of the country's post offices?  Is the Postmaster General addicted to Kirkland Signature hot wings?  Did Coscto threaten to sell prepaid FedEx envelopes instead?

Hey Costco, if I'm willing to buy in bulk, what kind of deal can you get me on rolls of quarters???

I Prefer Crying Because I'm Laughing So Hard

Sometimes it's just hard to hear the "laugh track."  You know what I mean?

I had a few of those months before the holidays, but we had a great Christmas and lately things seem to be getting better (knock on wood).  We've progressed from "I'm going to go wallow in self-pity" to "I'm pretty sure I will look back on this and laugh... eventually... someday... right?..."

Here's to more laughing in 2010!

M is Just Going to Have to Learn Japanese

What parent hasn't found cryptic ways of communicating secrets with other adults in front of their kids?

First, M and I could just use big enough words that they went over Claire's head.  Considering Claire's vocabulary, I think it's a testament to our sesquipedalian tendencies that we lasted as long as we did just doing that, if I do say so myself.

Then we started spelling key words out.  Yah, that didn't last long.  Lately one of Claire's favorite games and/or stall tactics is to converse by spelling her sentences out.  She and I will go back and forth five or six times just spelling out what we want to say to each other.  Whatever keeps 'em occupied, right?  It's better than listening to her chew out Scott.

So now M and I have to speak Spanish to each other.

Any bets on how long until she's bilingual?

Normal is in the Eyes of the Beholder

Things have been pretty cold lately for these parts, so my glove collection from spending seven consecutive winters in Utah has been logging a lot of miles.  (Notice I avoided saying I actually lived in Utah... I think this is justified since I left every summer but one.  I just got to be there for the cold parts.  Whose idea was that anyhow???) I have a pair of gloves that I only get to wear in December for the Christmas season, so I'm trying to wear them the most often while I still can.  Every time I wear them, I laugh a little.  Partly because they're just fabulously cheesy, and partly because it makes me think of my friends in college who would never let me live down the time I referred to them as some of my "normal gloves":

But in my defense, they are more normal than the snow gloves I had for snowboarding (from a utilitarian perspective).  And in general, they are A LOT more normal than these babies: