Our Torture Methods

We tried to coerce Claire into reading a new series this summer. I mean, I was tired of just looking at the same "Magic Treehouse" covers over and over again. I don't know how she could stand another second of actually reading about Jack and Annie AGAIN. For those of you familiar with this series, I have some suggestions for future additions to the "Magic Treehouse" books:

Vacant Looks at the Vernal Equinox
Waxing Legs at the Waning Gibbous
Alliterative Altercation Ante Meridiem
Bosons and Bozos at the Big Bang
Really Redundant Repetitive Reading at Recess Redux

Thankfully my friend Janssen just spent a year being a school librarian and she gave us some great ideas.

First Claire tried a couple "A to Z Mysteries." But they got off to a rocky start. The first one she read was called "The Jaguar's Jewel." Ummm... please tell me there are other parents out there who wouldn't be able to resist calling it "The Jaguar's Jewels" and snickering a little every time they said it? No? Well then, good. Because M and I would certainly never do that... We'd just sympathize with the one-jeweled jaguar. Poor guy...

So then we thought we'd get Claire to try the "Time Warp Trio" books. In order to "encourage" Claire, M gave her an assignment. Claire's answers included below:


Claire's Summer Book Reports
Assignment #1 - Time Travel Books

Write a book report that answers the following questions. Write at least one or two sentences about each question. Use specific examples from the book(s). Report may be handwritten or typed.

1. How are the Magic Tree House and Time Warp Trio books alike?

Both books have people who travel in time using books. Both sets of books have the same characters in each book.

2. How are the Magic Tree House and Time Warp Trio books different?

One series has missions and the other just travels wherever because they don't know how to work the book. One has all boys and one has a boy and a girl. One has two people and the other has three.

3. Which series do you like better? Why?

Magic Treehouse because... I don't know.


There you have it then. She can properly use ellipses but still prefers Magic Treehouse books. It boggles the mind.

They Totally Ratted Me Out

A little while ago, we had some people over for dinner. I set the table a tiny bit nicer than usual. When we all sat down to dinner, Claire picked one of the paper napkins up by the corner, held it up in the air in front of everyone at the table and loudly asked, "What is this????"

The cat's out of the bag. I usually forget to put napkins on the table. I'm not sure what my problem is. Growing up, my mom put cloth napkins on the table with every meal. Perhaps I'm just adverse to killing trees and/or doing extra laundry? What about you? Do you have beautiful linens laid out for your bowl of cereal? Or do you keep a nice stack of those tissue-thin paper numbers on the table? Or are you like me and have caught your children wiping their hands on the chair upholstery?

Our Children Will Probably Always Hate Easter

Today I came across this photo and it got me to reminiscing about Easter:

This past year, even Kate got an Easter egg hunt.

Just one egg though. I said egg, not eggs.

We put it just out of reach. Every time she almost got a hold of it, the egg would roll just out of reach again. M and I were evil, cruel parents who sat and watched. And laughed at her.

I refuse to feel guilty. That's what you get when you're 9 months old and still don't know how to crawl.

However. What we did to Claire when she was one month old, I may occasionally feel twinges of guilt about:

But the guilt is hard to notice because I'm laughing so hard.

Fun, But Not Much Elbow Room

"Claire? Scott? Um... I'm not a toy."