Monday, February 16, 2009

Movie Running Time: 114 Minutes, A Evening With Your Spouse: Priceless

NOTE: Please forgive the wacko formatting below. Apparently Blogger and I don't agree about my html tables.

M and I love to watch movies, but for how much we like them, we sure don't seem to get through very many. I mean, we are only on the two movies a month plan with Netflix right now, and I'm not sure we're getting our money's worth!

There are several reasons I can come up with that probably contribute to this pitiful state of affairs, but I'm pretty sure I know what the #1 culprit is: Overhead.

Let's say you want to watch a movie and it is 114 minutes long. You might think that you would need to allot about 2 hours to watch this movie. For some people, that may be right. But for M and I this is a gross underestimate. Let's do the math:

Normal Movie Math:
Getting the DVD player set up2 minutes
Getting a snack, some blankets, and snuggling up on the couch+3 minutes
Previews+4 minutes
Movie+114 minutes
Skipping the credits-3 minutes
NORMAL TOTAL120 minutes

M & G Movie Math:
Debating whether or not you really want to watch Henry V
(no really, that's what we have right now)
5 minutes
Taking turns at the computer doing "one more thing" while you wait for the other person to take the initiative+10 minutes
Getting the DVD player set up+2 minutes
G getting some dessert+5 minutes
Snuggling up on the couch+1 minute
Previews (all of them)
+15 minutes
Talk about previews +5 minutes
Movie+1 minute
Turning up volume because G can't hear and replaying first minute+1 minute
Turning on subtitles+1 minute
Replaying first minute of movie with subtitles so G can tell what they said+1 minute
Movie+20 minutes
G finishes dessert and needs to wash chocolate off hands and get more milk+3 minutes
Movie+20 minutes
Stop movie to discuss developing plot, analyze foreshadowing, make predictions+5 minutes
Movie+20 minutes
Stop movie to discuss cinematography+1 minute
Back up movie so M can verify observations+1 minute
Rewatch pertinent cinematography/directing with M's running commentary+3 minutes
Movie+20 minutes
Stop movie to discuss misgivings about how the movie will end+5 minutes
Movie+2 minutes
Stop movie so G can go to the bathroom+2 minutes
Movie+10 minutes
Stop movie so G can go to the bathroom AGAIN (Hey, I'm pregnant, okay?)+2 minutes
Movie+18 minutes
Discuss ending during credits+3 minutes
Rewatch selected portions of movie+5 minutes
Rewatch credits actually paying attention this time and pausing periodically to actually read them+5 minutes
M&G SUBTOTAL192 minutes

Now you might think that's a lot, but wait, there's more!

Discussion of movie as a whole+5 minutes
Visit to IMDB to cross reference actors, directors, cinematographers, etc.+15 minutes
Visit to Wikipedia to research plot elements and historical background+15 minutes
Discussion of moral undertones in movie+5 minutes
Visit to Netflix to rate movie+1 minute
Visit to Netflix queue to see what is next+1 minute
Rearranging Netflix queue+5 minutes
Adding new movies based on today's experience (new recommendations, discovered talent, jogged memories, etc.)+15 minutes
M&G MOVIE TOTAL254 minutes

So let's see, that would be a 6 minute overheard for normal people, and a 140 minute (2 hours and 20 minutes) overheard for us. No wonder we don't mind watching long movies. Normally a four hour movie is a 100% increase in time commitment. For us, it's less than 50%.

The reality is that we watch movies in smaller chunks. I'm just scared about how many MORE pieces we're going to have to break movies into once we have a newborn. UGH.


Pickles and Dimes said...

Too funny! We use imdb a ton when watching movies too. We half-recognize some actor and then it bothers us so much we have to stop the movie while we look him up.

When we watch TV shows, a half-hour comedy takes us 45 minutes to watch. And we have tivo! The dog is usually running upstairs every 3 minutes to drink water or bother the cats, so one of us (ME) has to make sure he's not getting into something he shouldn't be.

Kristen Duke said...

wow, thats a whole lotta math goin on...

Melanie said...

Josh would LOVE watching movies with you guys! Seriously! Right up his alley! And can i just say, I don't know how people can watch movies without subtitles!

Anonymous said...

you know, you would think you were enginerds or something.
*yes i purposely misspelt that!

Janssen said...

I usually go to the bathroom twice a movie even not pregnant. I fear for the future when I am.

Corinda said...

That's hilarious. Matt and I would enjoy watching movies with you guys--but you would probably have to pause a couple more times for my rearranging, snack getting, snack cleaning, 2nds on snacks, several bathroom trips, check on the baby, etc. Glad to know I'm not alone.

Ily said...

We have the same movie experience. I laughed when I saw you went to IMDB and wikipedia after just about each movie because we do the same things! We can never seem to get to a movie either.

Did you know they have old cartoons on Netflix too? Our kids keep asking us when we are gonna get another Thundercats DVD in the mail. Now that is some quality TV.

Leann said...

I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH! I totally remembering watching movies with you in college like that.
I don't get to do much of the analyzing though, cuz Matt falls asleep everytime... and now, I do too sometimes.

The only way I get to analyze a movie afterwards, is if we actually go to the movie, but then you can't pause to talk about it in the middle. UGH!

stampinashley said...

You guys have serious issues.

(*But you can still be my friend!)

kristi lou said...

THAT is intense! You guys are awesome!