Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Earning Their Right to Sleep in Our Guest Bed

A few weeks ago, my best friend from college and her husband and baby came to visit us for a week.  Their little boy is only a few weeks older than Kate.  He's SO cute!

It was absolutely WONDERFUL to see her again.  I always love me some geeky girlfriend talk.  But it was extra wonderful to have extra eyes to help us scour the garage and driveway at 12:30 at night for the diamond from my wedding ring!!!

We had stayed up later than we should have.  M had taken a couple days off and he was headed back to work the next day, but we partied that night anyway.  Well, at least it was partying as much as a couple of straight laced Mormon couples with new babies are concerned.  (We stayed up playing a rousing game of Ticket to Ride, okay?)

We finished up the board game and then I remembered that the recycling needed to go out to the curb for early the next morning.  I opened the garage door and then bent down to grab the recycling bin.  I bumped into a box fan that was sitting next to it as I did so, but thought nothing of it.  I left the bin at the curb and then went to straighten my wedding ring with my thumb as I walked back inside.  And then I noticed I was sporting a new extra-weird-feeling-very-pokey-metally-feeling ring.  And my heart dropped.  I got back to the light and sure enough, the diamond was missing from the middle of my ring.

I came back inside and called for reinforcements.  We all grabbed flashlights and started hunting.  Unfortunately, our children like to turn on and then leave on every flashlight they get their hands on.  So between those with dead batteries (from being left on) and those flashlights whose batteries had leaked and become permanently lodged inside (from being left on), two of us had to use the hand crank LED flashlights we had in our emergency kits.  Doesn't everyone dream of going on a vacation where they are enlisted to walk around someone else's driveway perpetually cranking a flashlight just so they can get a pitiful beam of light at 1am?

I remembered snagging my hand on the box fan inside the garage, so we focused our search there, but we also had to look out on the driveway too since there was no way to be sure exactly when or where it had fallen.

And then it started to rain. At this point, all I could do was laugh.  You know, that surreal, you've-got-to-be-kidding-me kind of laugh.  And then after about an hour of looking, I was starting to feel hopeless.  But this part of the story has a happy ending.  Finding it was an answer to prayer.  Like, really.  After I stepped inside the house for a moment to pray for a little help, I walked back into the garage and found it in the first place I looked.  A place where all four of us had already looked multiple times.  It was just sitting there in plain view.


Now you might be wondering more about my ring.  It is a half bezel setting for the center stone with small channel set tiny diamonds on either side.  Not very common, but I LOVE it.  It involves my diamond being held in by a metal lip that covers a total of half the circumference of my round cut diamond (basically 1/4 on each side).   Or at least it did.  Now my diamond and the ring are hanging out together in a Ziploc baggie.  I was under the impression that is/was a pretty secure setting and it has a nice low profile.  I have loved it.  But I've had more problems than I anticipated.

The diamond was a little loose after the first few months I had it, but I've heard that can be common with a new setting.  I got it tuned up and all was well for about 6.5 years.  Then about 6 months ago I noticed that my ring had become kind of egg shaped.  Apparently if I hadn't been wearing my wedding ring I would have lost a finger or something, cuz it was REALLY bent out of shape.  Then I noticed that the diamond was a little loose again so it was time to do something.  (Just to clarify, the diamond was never in any immediate danger of falling out, but wiggling a little in the setting.)

I took it in to be repaired.  While they were at it and I was already paying to have the white gold rhodium plated again, I had them resize it a little.  I got it back and within a couple weeks, the diamond was a little loose again.  I took it back to have them fix it again and the lady at the counter said she thought their might be something wrong with the setting, but she said the jeweler would know and would contact me if there were any issues.  They never contacted me so I assumed all was well.

Then this happens.  I'll never know, but I can't help but wonder if there WAS something wrong with my setting and they didn't tell me.  Guess that's what I get for not sending back to Wilson's where I bought it to have it repaired.  They're awesome.  I don't think I realized just how awesome before this mess.  You better believe I'll be shipping it back to them this time around.

So now the question is, what do I do?  Will stuff like this just keep happening?  Can I ever trust my ring again???  Is this setting not so great after all?  Or is it me?  Apparently I abuse rings.  In college I had a sterling silver ring that got caught on a vending machine and the side view looked a bit like a "C" afterward.  I think I have caustic skin.  I had a friend in college who had a problem with her silver rings turning black.  I thought it looked cool so she gave me one.  In a week my skin polished it silver again.  I bought a cheapy fake diamond ring to wear when I was too fat and pregnant to wear my regular one.  I polished it down to copper in a week and to some other even uglier darker layer under that in another couple weeks.  I'm a ring killer.  Is there any hope for me?

I only have an engagement ring that does double duty as my wedding ring.  I'm thinking it's time for me to get a wedding band.  I'll just wear that most of the time.  A sacrificial ring as it were.  Then eventually I'll get around to having my diamond ring fixed and I'll wear that when I'm going out on the town.  Does this seem like the right solution???

So what do you or those you know do?  Do other women just not wear their diamond ring very often?  What do you wear in day to day life?  Working out?  Cleaning house?  Drying off on towels and tucking in kids' shirts and running hands over changing pads to grab onesies out from under baby bottoms?  Taking out recycling bins when box fans are in the vicinity?

Any thoughts on Tungsten and Titanium wedding bands?  Because DANG that dark metal look is sex-y!  Is it too masculine?  After all, I already have enough to deal with being a "full sized woman."

Hurry up and tell me what to do.  I think Santa said that this year, "Christmas bells are ring-ing."


ashes said...

Are the prongs themselves in platinum? That's a stronger metal than gold, so that may help reinforce the setting. I wear both my wedding band and engagement ring every day - the only exceptions are when I'm sleeping and working out. (And my rings are both platinum).

Having said that, if you like titanium, then go with it!

Erin said...

I chose not to have the the engagement ring and the wedding band fused together so that when there are babies and kids in the mix, I can just wear the wedding band and not worry about scratching them with the diamond. I think a simple band is pretty elegant for everyday wear by itself. Right now I wear both of them most of the time, though. I take them to the jeweler to have the settings checked every 6 months or so.

Titanium and tungsten look very cool, but they cannot be resized, which is a deal-breaker for me. I wonder if there is a technique for plating a metal that can be resized to give it that darker look?

G said...

Ashes: They're not "prongs" really, but I bet they're in gold, so good point.

Erin: Titanium and Tungsten bands are so inexpensive it seems like you can just buy a new one if you need a new size for about the same price as having a gold one resized! I want my diamond one to be resizable, but if I'm picking up a simple band for everyday I'm thinking I don't need that to be resizable.

Monica said...

After we were first married, we went hiking and I was wearing my wedding ring. After going through the trees on the hike, I got a simple gold band to wear instead. I wear it almost all the time. I wear my wedding ring to church and other functions, but usually just wear my band. I would highly recommend you getting some type of band. It is so much easier when dealing with the house and the kids.

Mary Lou Hart said...

I wear my "double duty" ring all the time. I've had it 10 years now and just last year lost a pear diamond from the side setting. Had it re-set but it still feel out again. I'm with you in thinking that Wilson's is awesome and I don't ever want anyone else working on my ring again. I have never had any other problems with my ring though and my main diamond is still nice and snug (never had any signs of loseness). My sister on the other hand lost a diamond and she was told that you shouldn't wear your ring if it will get wet, while sleeping, exercising, & playing sports. But at that point why have a ring. I quite literally take mine off maybe 2 a year. If ever your in Provo again I'd take it to Wilson's

Vernon Mauery said...

Platinum is the answer. It is hard, doesn't lose its color like white gold, and you know it is there because it is heavier. But make sure you get it in the right size because they can't just resize them like other rings.

Leann said...

If I don't leave the house, I rarely put my ring on. But if I leave the house, even once, then the ring usually stays on the whole day.
My solitare does get in the way at times, especially when adjusting an uncomfortable nursing situation, but I've just deal with it so far.

I'm thinking you should get a band with no stones in it, cuz seriously.. your ring is set so low, that I'm convinced that no other ring with stones would be safe either.

Corinda said...

Well, I haven't been married as long, but I do worry about my ring because I too am a little hard on them. So far my solution is to wear my wedding band most days--especially on outdoor outings or heavy cleaning days. It is thin and has a little row of very small diamonds inlaid into it, so nothing can snag them. I'm sure they're not foolproof either, but they are not as nice a quality and are pretty small so if I ever do lose some, they won't be a burden to replace. So then I just wear my wedding ring when I'm out running errands or going to church or out with my hubby, etc. So far, so good...

Matthew said...

When you mentioned being the destroyer of rings, it reminded me of the time I destroyed my CTR ring in highschool. I reached in my locker to get my backpack (I had a bottom locker because I'm short) and somehow, I got the hook between my ring and my finger. I tried to slip it back off, but I was stuck. After a while of trying to pretend as if nothing were wrong, I reluctantly admitted to a nearby friend that I was stuck to my locker. Boy was that embarassing. Anyhow, he helped me bend my ring into a deformed shape that would allow me to escape. The ring was never round again after that.

Melanie said...

Hey G! I read your post a while ago and thought, "How horrible to lose the diamond!" But I was glad that your story had a happy ending!

I also usually only wear my wedding ring on Sunday or special occassions. I worry about losing it (probably more than i should!). However, in only wearing my ring occassionally, it has made Josh think I don't like it (which is not the case and I've tried telling him so). So, you might want to check with M to see if it will hurt his feelings if you only wear your ring sometimes? I don't know, just a thought.

I do love just wearing a simple band most days. Works out great! Never snags on anything! Hope Santa brings you something nice!