Friday, May 23, 2008


About a month ago we went on a family trip to Sea World San Antonio. The trip was my parents' birthday gift for the kids. It was really fun.

But before we get too far into this, I have a little message for children everywhere. Look, I hate to break it to you, but "Shamu" is a marketing ploy. A naming convention if you will. Let's face it, I went to see "Shamu" when I was little. In San Diego. Shamu is more of a brand name than an actual proper name for any one killer whale. And as long as we're chatting about this, let me remind you that no matter what the little boy they pulled out of the audience in the show said, killer whales cannot collectively be called "Shamus." That's just taking the brand name loyalty a little too far. Killer whales? Yes. Orcas? Yes. Funny Colored Big Dolphins? Kinda. Ruthlessly Intelligent Hunters? Sure, why not. The raptor dinosaurs of the marine mammal world? Too much Jurassic Park for you, but yes. Shamus? NO. Also, killer whale show? Not actually THAT cool. Big splashes. Well whoopity doo! I prefer the "antics" of the sea lions or the acrobatics of the dolphins. Now when "Shamu" can do this, then I'll stand up and take notice:

"I'm a flippin' little dolphin. Let me flip for you!"
(Name that movie.)

I can almost hear Scott's eloquent thoughts in this shot.
They go something like this: "Wow."

I think in this shot Scott branched out into the audible two word combination, "Dad, look!" Although in execution is usually sounds more like this: "Dad! Dad! Dad! Wook! Wook! Dad! Wook! Dad! Wook! Wook!..." Imagine that continuing for about as long as your imagination has patience to conjure.

So my camera has an "aquarium" setting. And I'm thinking, seriously? Is aquarium photography really a general enough use case to warrant it's very own setting? I guess some people must go to a lot more aquariums than me and/or care A LOT more about how their pictures of fish look. You know, they are just fish. No one actually wants to waste their time looking at your photos of them. Let me demonstrate:

(This is actually how I look if I let my hair air dry without product and then brush it out.)

(I swear I did not mess with the color on this photo. Crazy, huh?)

There. Now see how painfully boring those were? So why oh why does my camera have an aquarium setting? I think "smart cameras" need to be invented. They will analyze the photo you have taken and then if it deems the photo too pointless, it will "accidentally" delete it in order to spare the rest of the world. Although I'm not sure how I would feel about losing ALL of my photos. But anyway, what matters is that I got to use my camera's aquarium setting at least once, so that's already more than I would have expected.


Ralphie said...

A. You watch way too much Finging Nemo. As do I, apparently.

B. That guy in your first photo has been doing that show for way too long. Wasn't he there when we went 2 years ago?

C. Would you knock it off? You're making me laugh when I'm supposed to be pretending to work on primary stuff.

Sheyenne said...

Are you kidding me? I love the fish pictures, and I wish I had a fancy enough camera to have an aquarium setting. I'd make everyone look at my fish pictures whether they liked it or not.

ashley said...

You see... they have to have the flippin' "aquarium setting" because the morons can't ever turn off their flash so when they get home to look through all the pretty picutres of their pointless fish, they realize that have captured nothing more than a big bright spot with a few dim, reflected people off to the sides... a drag really if you were looking forward to some fish.

So, although seemingly pointless... not a bad idea. And heck, if it makes them some extra bucks, that I guess their job is done, right?

Bart said...

I think you should post a picture of your hair air-dried with no product.


Lauren said...

Funny stuff Gretchen. Yes, I knew the answer was Nemo and I bet my hair resembles the fish more than yours. Living in South Georgia is like stepping into a sauna. Makes great poofy hair!